


Smutty Sundays

by alkjira



Series: Prompty Goodness [5]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Drabble Collection, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Other, Other: See Story Notes, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-12
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2018-04-14 08:18:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 124
Words: 19,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4557399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alkjira/pseuds/alkjira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the collection of the fic(let)s I post on tumblr every Sunday, and I've cleaned them up a little as well (language wise, not smut wise, lol)</p><p>Will be added to when I've got the time and inclination.<br/>For the full experience check them out on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a link: [Smutty Sunday](http://alkjira.tumblr.com/tagged/smutty-sunday)
> 
> Be aware that it's definitely nsfw and will have very explicit images as well as the smutty ficlets. No images are included here on AO3.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kíli/Ori
> 
> Rimming, first time

Kíli hadn’t tried it before, so naturally he said yes right away when when Ori suggested it. Only it had to be a little delayed as their shower to get cleaned up derailed somewhat… but a blowjob and handjob later they were back on track, or on the bed as it were.

“Maybe this is better anyway,” Kíli said as he brushed the pad of his thumb over and around the rim of Ori’s arsehole. “You’re more relaxed now.”

“You’re going to stick your tongue in my arse,” Ori said and nudged Kíli’s shoulder with the heel of his foot. “It’s not like it’s going to be my first time.”

“It’s your first time with a _tongue_ there,” Kíli protested, stroking his other hand up and down the back of Ori's thigh in a soothing motion. “Mine too, and I’m going to do it _properly_.” 

Ori snickered at the very serious, very determined look on Kíli’s face.  “You’re adorable.”

Kíli sniffed.”I’m going to start now, silence please so I can concentrate. Unless, I hurt you. Or if you feel like moaning. Or- nevermind, talk if you want to.”

Ori nudged him again. “Well, it’s not _my_ mouth that’s going to be busy.”

Indeed. And busy it was.

-

Kíli pulled back and licked his lips. ”Hey, you’re hard again.”

”Please don’t stop,” Ori moaned, trying to rock back against Kíli even though having his legs bent until his knees were  practically at his ears meant that leverage wasn’t really something that existed for him at the moment.

”So I’m good at it?”

”Yesssss.”

Kíli preened.

Ori wanted to point out that the amount of noise he’d been making while Kíli’s tongue had been busy tracing slow circles around his arsehole, or flicking against it in fast, tickling teases, or bloody well licking _inside_ of him, that noise definitely meant that Kíli was good at it.

But then Kíli ducked his head down again and gently prodded Ori’s opening with his thumb at the same time as he licked, and Ori was suddenly busy moaning again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dís/Tauriel
> 
> Just some boob appreciation lol

“Mmhm.” Dís sighed and arched up into Tauriel’s touch as long slim fingers cupped her breasts, brushing over Dís' nipples before moving down to her stomach and then back up again. “Told you the bra with the opening in the front was a good idea.”

“I never said it wasn’t” Tauriel replied, smiling down at her lover.

“You looked sceptical.”

“I recall no such thing.”

Dís snorted and covered Tauriel’s left hand with her own. “Right, I’m taking this one captive. Feel free to send in the other one to try and rescue it.”

Tauriel looked down at her ‘trapped’ hand moulded to Dís’ breast. “I’m not sure if I can risk it. I better create a distraction.” She bent her head pressed her lips to Dís’ other breast, flicking her tongue over the nipple.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin/Nori/Fíli
> 
> Shower

Fíli groaned into Nori’s mouth as Nori's hands settled on his arse, first squeezing and then spreading his arse cheeks. Fíli groaned again when one finger slipped down and began to trace circles around his hole, and _again_ when Nori pushed it inside of him, sinking it in to the first knuckle. 

“Normally people _sing_ in the shower,” came Dwalin’s amused voice, and Fíli flipped a rude gesture in his general direction.

The water cascading down on them made everything just slippery enough for Nori to fuck Fíli with the finger he’d stuffed inside of him, but not slippery enough for anything more. Not that it stopped Fíli from pressing back against Dwalin when he felt the blunt end of a cock between his cheeks, but he couldn't do anything else as Nori’s hands tightened on his hips, holding him steady as Dwalin slowly slid his cock up and down Fíli’s crack, the blunt head catching slightly on Fíli’s hole with every drag.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin/Frerin/Dís
> 
> Just threesome sex, and erm, sibling incest lol

Frerin and Dís traded moans and kisses as the force of Thorin’s thrusts rocked them all together, piled up as they were with Dís on the bottom with Frerin on her, and in her, and Thorin on top of Frerin, fucking him with measured, powerful thrusts. 

Dís pushed a lock of sweat damp blond hair away from Frerin’s forehead, her lips twitching upwards at his expression.

“Yes, you’re happy now aren’t you,” she teased, digging her heels lightly into his thighs. “In the middle like this.”

“Uh huh,” Frerin said absently, eyes glazed, and Dís giggled.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kíli/Dwalin
> 
> Riding

As soon as Kíli had found the right angle he started up a brisk pace, filling the air with the sound of their bodies slapping together. 

He rode cock like a master, and Dwalin felt a small sting of possessiveness, unable to stop his mind from wondering who Kíli had had before to get this good at it, if he missed them, if-

But he forced himself to push away such silly thoughts, reminding himself that Kíli would not be with him now if he’d liked someone else better. He was beautiful, and clever, and a prince, and he could bloody well have just about anyone he wanted. 

Since he for some reason wanted Dwalin it would make Dwalin a fool the size of Erebor if he spent their time together thinking about other people.

Glazed brown eyes blinked open to smile down at Dwalin and Dwalin felt something entirely different from possessiveness bloom in his chest.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kíli/Fíli  
> (so sibling incest)
> 
> come play, of sorts

The splash of come on his face was something of a shock, but since none of it ended up in his eyes Kíli’s brain quickly decided that it was just about the hottest thing ever. Especially combined with the way Fíli was screwing up tight around him, clenching in time with every spurt of his cock.

“Fuck, damn, fuck,” Fíli swore, curling his hand around Kíli’s wrist when Kíli tried to slide his hand down to help jerk Fíli’s cock. “Just- wait- I need- fuck.”

Kíli’s hips bucked upwards when Fíli’s arse tightened again, and they both groaned, and another wet splash hit Kíli’s cheek.

“Bloody hell,” Fíli groaned, his fingers loosening around Kíli’s wrist, but before Kíli had the chance to do anything Fíli was leaning down and licking his come off Kíli’s skin.

He’d only managed to get three licks in before Kíli’s body decided that enough was enough and his cock jerked inside the snug, slick grasp of Fíli’s body, filling him up.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin/Ori  
> deep throating

Ori gulped in a breath and swallowed, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth.

Dwalin curled his hand around the back of Ori’s neck, giving him a small squeeze. “You don’t need to-”

“I can do it,” Ori said stubbornly, meeting Dwalin’ blue-grey gaze. He took a deep breath and wrapped his fingers around the base of Dwalin’s cock to hold it steady. Opening his mouth he let Dwalin’s cock slip into his mouth, accidentally catching him with his teeth before he could adjust to the angle, but from the groan Dwalin made it didn’t sound as if he’d minded the small scrape.

When the head of Dwalin’s cock bumped the back of his throat Ori stopped and sucked in a breath through his nose.This was as far as he’d gotten last time. He didn’t have much of a gag reflex and he knew what he was supposed to do, but knowing and actually managing wasn’t always the same thing.

Relaxing his jaw as much as he could Ori moved his hands to hold Dwalin’s hips, and then he swallowed, making Dwalin groan again, but nothing else. 

Annoyed Ori sucked in another breath, pushing himself forward at the same time and that did it. Surprise over actually managing almost make Ori choke despite of himself, but he managed to hold it as Dwalin’s cock slid down his throat.

Big rough hands rubbed his neck and petted at his cheeks and Ori looked up to meet Dwalin’s eyes again, knowing from Dwalin’s expression how he must look; on his knees, cheeks flushed, and  with his lips stretched wide around the thick length of Dwalin’s cock.

“You’re beautiful,” Dwalin rumbled, his thumb rubbing gently at the corner of Ori’s mouth, and Ori could feel his cheeks flush even redder.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori/Kíli

Nori put his phone down and watched appreciatively as Kíli strolled into the bedroom, naked except for the towel slung low around his hips. 

Whistling Kíli stopped in front of the closet and proceeded to drag the towel over the back of his thighs before letting it drop to the floor.

It clearly wasn’t meant to be seductive, but Nori’s dick was still beginning to plump up in appreciation.

“Kíli…”

“I’ll pick it up in a minute,” Kíli promised as he bent down to grab a T-shirt from a lower shelf.

“Not exactly what I meant,” Nori admitted, eyes sweeping over the round swell of Kíli’s arse. “Weirdly enough wet towels are not a concern when you’re bent over and naked in our bedroom.”

Kíli stilled for a moment, and then he wriggled his arse in Nori’s direction. “Go on.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dís/Víli  
> premature ejaculation, coming while clothed

Dís laughed and wrapped her arms around Víli’s neck as he hoisted her up on the table.

“I’ve got a secret,” she whispered, curling her fingers into blond strands of hair and tugging lightly.

“And what would-” Víli began, hands sliding up the outside of her thighs, pushing her dress up to bunch around her hips, and then he froze.

“No knickers,” Dís smirked and spread her legs, leaning in for a kiss, gently giving Víli’s bottom lip a nibble when he didn’t respond. 

She was a fair bit surprised when Víli suddenly shuddered and groaned, his grip on her thighs tightening, his hips bucking forward.

“Did you just..?” she asked as he leaned his forehead against her shoulder, hips still making small, strained thrusts.

“I’ve not come in my pants since I was 16,” Víli muttered, shakily sucking in a breath and twitching when Dís slid her hand down between his legs to cup his cock through the two layers of cloth. 

He was still hard, and warm, and Dís gently dragged her palm up and down the length of him, feeling a hot pulse between her own legs as Víli groaned again and she could feel his cock jerk as it spit out a final strand of come to join the already existing mess in his pants.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli/Ori  
> Oral

Fíli scrunched up Ori’s T-shirt and put it between himself and the carpet. He’d rather not have rug burn on his cock, thank you very much, but he could not get his hips to stop rocking down against the floor. Especially not when Ori’s hand found his hair, petting and clutching at him as Fíli bobbed up and down on Ori’s cock.

“Your _mouth_ ,” Ori said, and Fíli shuddered at the wrecked quality of Ori’s voice, he almost sounded as if he’d been the one with a cock down his throat.

Bloody lucky Fíli had that T-shirt, because he was going to come before Ori if this kept up, and he was _not_ going to clean come out of the carpet.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bofur/Nori/Dwalin  
> Sloppy seconds

Bofur groaned happily as Dwalin sank inside of him, the slide of his cock easy, and wet. Very wet, courtesy of Nori. 

As Dwalin filled him Bofur could feel some of Nori’s seed leaking out to drip down on the sheets below.

Dwalin was bigger than Nori, but gentler, slowly rocking in and out of him, big hands holding his hips just as gently. Each time Dwalin was all the way inside; his rocks resting against Bofur’s, it felt like Dwalin’s cock practically bumped the back of his throat. 

Only he knew it didn’t, which meant there was an opening (heh) for someone else to do it.

Nori was sitting up against the headboard of the bed, clever fingers wrapped loosely around his still half-hard cock, not rubbing it, just holding it. He’d wiped himself down with a damp washcloth after he’d finished, and his skin still gleamed a little wetly. 

Bofur licked his lips and met Nori’s eyes. “Let me suck you until you’re hard again.”

Dwalin made a startled noise, and his next thrust was both a little harder and somewhat off the beat from the rhythm he’d set.

Nori smirked, slow and teasing. “And then what?”

“That would depend on if Dwalin has finished or not,” Bofur replied, squeezing his arse around the thick cock inside of him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli/Kíli/Tauriel

As much as Tauriel liked to watch she didn’t exactly mind the times when she ended up in the middle. 

Fíli was pressed up against her back, and Kíli against her front, their stiff cocks pressed between her legs, sliding against her inner thighs, and against each other. Against her slit too, and Tauriel could feel her wetness slicking them and something about that just made her even wetter, creating a rather lovely chain reaction, but it wasn’t quite enough.

“Fuck me,” Tauriel breathed, her hands reaching back to grab Fíli’s arse, tugging him even closer. “One of you, both of you, just-”

Fíli bent to kiss the tip of her ear, his hands sliding up from her stomach to cup her breasts, and Kíli grinned at her, his eyes bright and dark and entirely too lovely.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin/Bilbo (fem!Bilbo)

“Bofur, Bofur he left me his number. And a note to please call him.”

“So call him.” Bofur grinned. “He’s shy for such a big one, handing out numbers.”

“What if he meant to give it to someone else?”

Bofur looked at her as if she wasn’t entirely in possession of her wits, and Bilbo had to admit that he had a point. 

Dwalin had been coming to the library for quite some time so it would be fairly hard for him to get her mixed up with someone else, (not to mention that she didn’t much look like Bofur or Ori) and Bilbo had also been the only one working that afternoon. 

“But why would he want to go out with me?”

Bofur looked thoughtful. “Should I have ‘The Talk’ with you? Not that you have to sleep together, or make babies, but I feel like you might be missing something when it comes to-“

Bilbo tried to kick Bofur beneath the table put only succeeded in knocking her knee against it. Their cups jumped and a spoon escaped to the floor.  

“He obviously likes you, Bilbo,” Bofur snorted. “If you want to say yes, say yes, and if don’t want to you don’t call him, and if he ever shows up looking for trouble you kick him in the balls and call the cops.”

Bilbo hid her face in her hands. “You make it sound all so enticing.”

“You’re not going to call him then?”

“I don’t know.” She peered through her fingers at Bofur. “He seems sweet.” And he was hot, Bilbo could not deny that part. And she liked talking to him.

“It’s rather adorable when he brings those two lads along,” Bofur nodded. “Are they his?”

“His cousin’s,” Bilbo said. “Fíli and Kíli.”

Bofur gave her a knowing look.

“We’ve just talked, a bit,” Bilbo said defensively. “I’m nice, I talk to people.”

“Does he have any pets?”

“No, he used to-” Bilbo cut herself off. “What does that have to do with anything.”

“I’m just thinking that maybe you’ve already started dating, just a bit,” Bofur grinned. “This Dwalin bloke is probably just looking to spice things up a bit by you two not meeting in the library for once.”

“You’re not helping.”

“No, I’m having tea,” Bofur agreed. “Hey where did my spoon go?”

-

Bilbo had just meant to kiss Dwalin good night. Truly. Only he’d been a very good kisser. And he’d smelt really good. And felt really good, and then he’d asked if she wanted to come inside and Bilbo had agreed and there’d been more kissing, and Bilbo might have ended up climbing into his lap, and he’d been hard for her, and Bilbo _liked_ him, and she could hardly even remember when she’d liked someone like this last. (’ _Like this_ ’ equating being at risk to leave a wet spot on both of their trousers if she’d stayed in his lap for much longer.)

She’d not even worn her best underwear, was what flashed through Bilbo’s mind as the two of them stumbled through the flat towards the bedroom. Not that Dwalin seemed to mind judging by the look he gave her when she shoved her jeans down her hips and tugged her top over her head.

He was almost painfully her type with his broad chest and nice beard and pretty eyes and dry humour. And indeed very sweet. It was almost too good to be true, Bilbo mused as she lifted her hands her hips to unhook her bra.

The thought made her pause, and Bilbo frowned, then pinched herself.

“What are you doing?” Dwalin asked, freezing in the process of tugging undoing his belt.

“I’m-” Bilbo felt her cheeks flush and quickly undid her bra, pretty much hoping to distract him with her breasts. It worked, but just for a second, damn it.

Dwalin licked his lips and took a step back. “If you want to stop-”

“No,” Bilbo protested, taking a step forward. “I don’t want to. Unless you want to?”

Shaking his head Dwalin came closer again, cupping her cheek and bending down to kiss her.

Okay, Bilbo told herself as she wound her arms around those lovely shoulders and let Dwalin pick her up. He can’t be perfect. He’ll probably be horrible in bed, but they could work on that. Practice, perfect, all that.

He wasn’t horrible in bed.

“Oh dear gods,” Bilbo moaned, shuddering through her _second_ orgasm, fisting one hand in the sheets and turning to look at Dwalin over her shoulder. “I mean this in the best possible way, but please tell me what’s wrong with you?”

“What?”

“Do you hate puppies? Christmas?” Bilbo squirmed backwards onto the cock that unfortunately had stopped moving after her first question. “Do you think The Sun is a good source of news? Did you vote for the bloody Tories in the last election?”

He even looked sweeter when he was confused, Bilbo thought somewhat sulkily. 

“I have no idea what you’re on about,” Dwalin said, hands stroking soothing patterns over the outside of her thigh.

“It’s just-” Bilbo bit her lip. “You’re being very… perfect. And I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

Oh _no_ , Bilbo thought when what was unmistakably a blush settled on Dwalin’s cheeks. That was not helping at _all_.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori/Dwalin  
> public

“But we’re going to the gym?” Dwalin said, a little confused when Nori nudged him into a side alley that most definitely wouldn’t take them to the gym.

“We are going to the gym,” Nori agreed. “We’re just taking a little detour.”

“But this alley won’t lead anywhere, it’s a dead end.”

Nori grinned up at him. “Which is why it’s going to be perfect for me sucking you off?”

Dwalin blinked. “It’s in the middle of the day.”

Nori might have pouted, just a little. “I’m sure no one will see.”

“And then someone comes along anyway and is traumatised. A seven year old,” Dwalin said, looking down his nose at Nori who winced.

“Fair point.” Then he brightened again. “How about-” And he rested his hands on Dwalin’s shoulders, stretching up whisper into his ear. 

“I really need to stop letting you talk me into stupid shit,” Dwalin groaned after Nori had finished detailing his plan on how to get them both off without it looking suspicious. 

“Is that a yes?”

It was a yes.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo/Thorin/Dwalin  
> Double penetration

“Wait, wait-”

Dwalin and Thorin both froze instantly.

“Did we hurt you?”

“Are you all right?”

“No- I mean, yes- I’m all right.” Bilbo stretched his hand up and flailed a little before he found something he got pat. He thought it was Dwalin’s arm. “I’m still wearing my socks.”

There was a very loud, very confused silence.

“Socks,” Thorin finally said, his breath hot against the side of Bilbo’s face.

“I just realised,” Bilbo said, wiggling his very much covered toes. “And now I feel quite silly.”

“To sum it up,” Dwalin said. “Both our cocks are in you, this is fine, but you want the socks off?”

“Please?” Bilbo asked.

Dwalin snorted and wrapped his hand around the base of his cock before very carefully pulling out of Bilbo. 

Bilbo, now feeling quite empty, squirmed a little on top of Thorin. 

“Hurry back?”

Thorin snorted and Bilbo found a strand of long dark hair and tugged on it whilst presenting Dwalin with his feet so he’d be able to remove the offending socks.

“There,” Dwalin declared, dropping both socks unceremoniously to the floor. “Anything else I can do?”

Bilbo lifted his head and eyed Dwalin’s rather impressive erection.  

“You may return to what you were doing, thank you.”

Dwalin rolled his eyes but gave Bilbo’s foot a small caress before releasing it and climbing back onto the bed.

It took a little bit of sorting before they’d all found their way back to the previous position, but then Bilbo felt a familiar press at his already stretched opening and he tried to hike his legs up higher and Thorin groaned; Bilbo echoing him a moment later when the head of Dwalin’s cock slid inside.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo/Frerin

“Frerin, you’re naked.”

Frerin turned his head to grin brightly at Bilbo. “And you’re observant.”

“It’s the middle of the day, and you had clothes on when I last saw you.”

“Lost them.”

“You…” Bilbo blinked. “Lost them.”

“See, there was this badger. Very nasty tempered. Barely made it out with my life.” Frerin’s grin widened. “And also, I spilled juice all over myself. I felt hot, so I’ve not gotten around to changing yet.”

“I can see the hot part,” Bilbo said leaning an elbow against the kitchen island so he could pillow his head on his hand and look contemplatively at Frerin. “I’m just not sure the lack of clothes are helping.”

Frerin closed the fridge and stretched his arms out, turning in a small circle. “Yes, give me your admiration, Baggins.”

Bilbo snorted. “You’re terrible.”

“Hey, that’s not admiration,” Frerin pouted. Looking down at himself he sighed. “I knew this day would come, I lose my youthful good looks and your eye goes straying to the next pretty lil’ thing.”

“Yes, I’m running away with the mail man,” Bilbo agreed. “I wish it could be my tennis coach but as I don’t have one… Knew there was a point to sports after all.” 

Frerin hung his head. “I see. I accept you decision, but how about a shag for old times sake before you run off into the sunset?”

“You going to do any of the work?” Bilbo teased.

“I’m absolutely appalled at your insinuation,” Frerin sniffed. “It’s hard work looking as good as I do. To make up for this I demand you bend me over the nearest flat surface and shag me.”

Unable to stop his lips from twitching upwards Bilbo shook his head. “One, I’m too short for that too work, and two, we do prepare food in here and that’s not hygienic.”

Frerin dramatically pressed the back of his hand against his forehead. “Oh woe that is me, having all my hopes and dreams dashed.”

“If you manage to make it to the bedroom I’ll be happy to oblige you there,” Bilbo suggested.

“After trekking all that way I’ll be very exhausted,” Frerin said as he pretty much bounced up to Bilbo and bent to kiss him. “But if I must.”

“I’m not shagging you in the kitchen,” Bilbo said, rocking up on his toes so he could kiss Frerin again when the pout made a return.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dís/Víli

“Don’t stop!”

“But-”

“Don’t. Stop.”

“Dís-”

“Just- yes, like that. Keep-”

“Honey…”

“It’s okay- come on, I’m so close.”

Dís’ heels dug into Víli’s arse as she came, her body pulsing around his cock and Víli gritted his teeth and braced himself with both arms against the floor as not to fall on top of her, trying to keep fucking her through it even though they were both very much at a risk to slip off the bed entirely. Dis was already more on the floor than she was on the bed.   
  
They needed new sheets. Less... slide-y ones.

When Dís had stopped shuddering Víli stilled entirely and pressed a kiss to her neck.

“Honey, I have no idea how we’re supposed to get out of here. I don’t want to squish you.”

Dís started to giggle and Víli twitched as that made her clench around him.

“Well, we’re not quite done yet anyway,” she said, nipping at his ear, and now when she clenched around him it felt quite deliberate.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kíli  
> Solo

Kíli _really_ needed to buy a dildo. Only trouble was that he couldn’t exactly put it on the shopping list, (still living with your parents came with a few drawbacks) so he kept forgetting. 

He’d considered getting one online, but he could just imagine Fíli seeing the package and opening and then he’d never hear the end of it (still living with your big brother came with a few drawbacks).

Fingers felt nice but he had a hard time reaching the best spot without pulling his shoulder out of its socket.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin/Ori

Ori’s lips were open, wet and flushed a deep pink and Thorin wanted to kiss him. Again. Because it was due to the previous kisses that Ori’s mouth looked like that. Not to mention that Ori’s neck was a smooth unmarked column just asking to be kissed as well. 

But with their current position Thorin couldn’t really bend far enough to kiss him at all, at least not without flattening him entirely.

This just wouldn’t do.

“Wrap your legs tighter around me,” Thorin rasped. “And move your hands to my shoulders.”

Ori made a small confused noise, his eyes fluttering open. “Whu?”

“I’d like to kiss you,” Thorin tried to explain, which led to Ori trying to do the impossible and bridge the distance between them. When he couldn’t a small pout appeared, and Thorin’s desire to kiss him did not exactly lessen.

He licked his lips repeated his request and even though Ori still looked confused he did as Thorin asked.

With a mix of muscle power, luck and sheer stubbornness, Thorin managed to get to his feet without dropping Ori, and without slipping out of him.

“That was the most complicated way you couldn’t have done that,” Ori pointed out as Thorin walked them to the nearest wall, pushing Ori against it. “And-” Ori hissed. “The wall is _cold_.”

Thorin… didn’t really have a good explanation as to why he’d not simply pulled out and allowed them both to rearrange themselves into a more suitable position. At the time the idea hadn’t occurred to him.

“Would you like to go to the bed?” Thorin asked, licking his lips again when Ori licked his. Ori was not a heavy burden, and holding him like this meant that Thorin literally had his hands full of Ori’s arse, which was not in any way a negative, but if he preferred…

Ori shook his head and squirmed a little, his hands tightening on Thorin’s shoulders. “What I’d like is for you to keep, um, fucking me.”

“May I have a kiss first?” Thorin’s eyes flitted between Ori’s eyes and his lips.

Said lips quirked up in a smile. “You may.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gimli/Legolas

The line outside the club was horribly long and as Gimli wasn’t sure about his chances to get in at all he thought it just as well to chat up the pretty blond bloke next to him right away.

Turned out that blondie wasn’t really looking to chat, but he didn’t mind for lips and tongues to be involved in other activities.

Gimli wasn’t entirely sure how - a cab had been involved at some point - but suddenly they were inside blondie's flat and when he pulled back to get some much needed air he saw the ugliest bloody wallpaper he’d ever seen.

“That’s-”

Then he was dragged back up into a new kiss.

-

Hot blond bloke, or Legolas - as Gimli had learnt was his name, was just about to start fucking him when Gimli remembered the wallpaper and began snickering.

“What?” Legolas asked, pausing.

“Your wallpaper-” And that was how far Gimli got before the snickering drowned out his words. Damned inconvenient because when Legolas straightened and pulled away he wanted to protest but couldn’t.

“Are you high?” Legolas was frowning down on  him. “I thought- you said you’d not been drinking much before going out, but did you take something? I’m not-”

Gimli shook his head, patting Legolas on his knee and tried to remember how to breathe.

“It’s terrible.”

“Right,” Legolas said slowly, he glanced at the wall next to them, which was an innocent white-grey-beige, fuck Gimli had no idea it was pretty dark in the room. “I’m getting you some water.”

“Not this wallpaper,” Gimli protested. “The one in the hall.”

Sadly this didn’t solve the problem.

“I made that.”

Gimli winced. “Err, sorry?”

A rather awkward silence settled over them.

“I don’t suppose you’re still up to shag someone with appealing taste?” Gimli tried. The bloke was very fit, and even though he wasn’t really Gimli’s type there was something about him…

“Are you?” Legolas asked, raising an eyebrow.

Gimli grinned.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori/Fíli  
> sleepy morning

“We should probably get up,” Fíli murmured. 

“Can’t hear you, sleeping,” Ori told Fíli’s hair. To apologise for lying to it he moved his hand up to pat it. As he refused to open his eyes he patted Fíli’s shoulder and cheek for good measure before finding his target.

“You’re not sleeping.”

“ _Sleeping_ ,” Ori said again as his boyfriend seemed to require repetition of basic facts this morning. He moved his hand to hold the back of Fíli’s head, gently tugging to get Fíli to tuck his head against Ori’s chest.

When Fíli laughed Ori tugged on his hair. “Shh.”

“I know you were up late studying, but-”

With a groan Ori rolled over, aiming to simply smother Fíli with his body, but that plan failed when Fíli refused to be rolled onto his back by someone who was half-asleep, half his size, and who hadn’t really thought this move through. Very inconsiderate really. All his brilliant plan got him was his leg over Fíli’s hip and even less space between them compared to before.

It was quite cosy, and Ori went limp again. When Fíli’s hand stroked up his back Ori arched into the touch and let out a small sigh.

“I’m going to need to get up soon.” Fíli sounded entirely too amused for this time of day.

“Why?” Ori was not whining. He was just… expressing his displeasure. Loudly.

“Because you sleep naked and was already hard when I woke up. So I’ve got a date with my hand and the shower now.”

Ori took a few moments to process this. Upon reflection he could indeed feel a familiar hot, hard line pushing against his thigh. “So you’re not up, as much as you’re _up_.”

Fíli was silent for a few moments before bursting out laughing, making both of them shake with the force of it.

Then he rolled them over so that Ori was on his back. Unfair.

“Unfair,” Ori told him, finally opening his eyes to blink blearily up at Fíli. “I tried that, it didn’t work.”

When Fíli kissed his nose Ori batted at his head. “And that tickles.”

“And good morning to you too,” Fíli said before doing it again. “If you need me I’ll be in the shower, wanking.”

When he tried to move away Ori had already wrapped his arms and legs around him.

“Or you could stay here.” Ori lifted his hips up against Fíli’s to show that he was also beginning to be ‘up’. In both ways really, even if he was deeply regretful about the kind that meant he ought to get out of bed and not in it. “And after we could sleep some more.”

“‘ _After_ ’,” Fíli said. “We’re going to need a shower anyway.”

“You’re ruining a perfectly good plan with logic.”

“I’ll carry you to the shower.”

Ori considered it. “Will you wash my hair?”

“I’ll suck you off and wash your hair, final offer.”

Ori considered it some more and then he sighed and tightened his arms around Fíli’s neck. “Deal.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin/Dwalin

Once naked Dwalin climbed onto the bed and straddled Thorin’s thigh, leaning down to kiss him, straightening back up when Thorin cupped his head and tried to deepen the kiss.

“I want to look at you,” Dwalin replied to Thorin’s complaint. 

“There’s no nee-”

“Because you’re beautiful.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d said it, and Thorin did own a mirror, but a certain pair of pale blue eyes still widened in surprise.

Dwalin stroked his hand up Thorin’s stomach, tracing each dip and rise of muscle.

“I like looking at you.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin/Bilbo

Bilbo was deeply regretting all the times he’d wanted for Thorin to be more appreciative of flowers. 

He’d been pleasantly surprised by the red roses waiting in a vase on the dining room table, with water in the vase no less. Even if he had a suspicion that ‘rose’ was just about the only flower Thorin knew the name of it was still a sweet gesture. 

When he’d spotted the petals strewn on the stone floor, leading the way to their bedroom Bilbo had smiled wide enough to make his cheeks ache, and discovering Thorin on the bed, naked, with a single red rose for company… 

“I feel quite ridiculous even without you standing there grinning,” Thorin had informed him, and it had only made Bilbo’s grin widen. 

“You might feel ridiculous, but you look wonderful,” he promised, eyes sweeping over Thorin’s familiar but no less enticing form. 

“What am I supposed to do with this?” Thorin asked, giving the rose he was holding a sceptical look. “I was told I should bring one into the bedroom.”

Bilbo just barely repressed a snicker and began to unbutton his trousers. “It doesn’t matter, it’s just a gesture.”

“There has to be a point to it,” Thorin said, and it was here Bilbo had made the terrible mistake of telling Thorin that he’d best find the point then.

-

“I’m beginning to see the benefits,” Thorin said, and Bilbo could _hear_ the smug smile.

The silky soft petals of the rose swept down between Bibo’s arse cheeks and he thunked his head against the pillows.

“Thorin, _touch_ me.”

“I am touching you.” The hand on his arse gave a small squeeze. “Red is a good colour for you.” A beat, another silky soft sweep of the rose between Bilbo's legs. “Are there blue roses?”


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin/Bifur

Dwalin had decided that he was not to be rushed but he looked up when Bifur’s hand curled around the back of his head. However when Bifur didn’t do anything aside from giving him a strained, almost frantic look, Dwalin grinned and went back to making his way down Bifur’s chest, making sure to leave not a single spot of skin without a kiss, nip or lick.

He was still fully dressed whereas Bifur just has his trousers perilously clinging to his hips, ready to go down with one more nudge, and that was just what Dwalin gave them.

The metallic clang of the belt buckle hitting the floor was strangely gratifying and even though Bifur couldn’t hear it he still twitched slightly, swaying closer to Dwalin and Dwalin’s grin widened. 

Bifur’s cock; now free of its confines, bumped against Dwalin’s suit jacket and Dwalin curled one hand around the base of it as he continued to get acquainted with Bifur’s left hip.

He was fairly tempted to leave marks; there was a perfect patch of skin for it, but instead he pulled back and met Bifur’s eyes before lowering his head and licking a stripe up his cock. Dwalin wasn’t sure if Bifur would like being marked and they could have that conversation some other time when Dwalin’s hands weren’t so happy to be occupied. 

Also, instead of leaving a mark he could just make sure that Bifur fuck his mouth enough that he’d be a bit raspy in the morning, that would do nicely as a reminder of this, that he got to have this, have Bifur flushed and hard for him.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dis/Víli

“You’re the cutest,” Víli smiled, pressing a kiss against Dís’ neck.

“Cute-” Dís’ chest heaved as she tried to catch her breath. “That’s- you’re strange.” No one had ever told her that she was cute after they'd made her come by shagging her up the arse before.

“And you’re cute,” Víli said, stroking his hands up and down Dís’ sides. “Vibrating like a mobile when you come.”

“A-” Dís snorted. “I think you just proved my point.”

On second thought, she rather liked being cute. And she loved strange.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bifur/Nori

Bifur had been a little apprehensive. The last thing he wanted to do was to hurt Nori. But telling Nori ‘no’ was also not something he enjoyed, least of all when Nori argued so beautifully for what he wanted, hands flying so fast that someone else might have had a difficult time keeping up.

Nori’s hands was what first drew Bifur to him; so quick and elegant, like birds or flame. 

Even when not using signs they still talked, telling stories that someone only listening to his mouth would never hear.

He’d said he wanted this, mouth, eyes, hands, all telling the same story. And he’d promised to kick if it hurt, if he changed his mind.

Keeping his eyes on Nori’s face Bifur pressed a finger inside, together with his cock, ready to pull back at even the slightest sign of discomfort.

There was none. Instead Nori’s green eyes went half-lidded and pleased, and his hands kneaded at the sheets like a happy kitten, not scrunched up into hurting fists, and Bifur was no longer regretting that he did not have Nori’s slimmer fingers. He was happy to be himself as long as he wasn’t hurting Nori.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bofur/Thorin  
> coming untouched

Bofur startled both himself and Thorin when he came; his hole clenching around nothing and cock spitting streaks of white onto the floor.

Thorin’s hand stilled around his cock when Bofur groaned and hung his head, fingers curling into Thorin’s thighs and gripping him hard as he shuddered through his orgasm. 

A large warm hand cupped his face and Bofur turned into the touch, sucking in a shaky breath before pressing his lips against Thorin’s palm.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli/Kíli

It was possible that they shouldn’t have been quite so… enthusiastic after finally getting an apartment of their own.

But it was just so great to finally be able to have sex whenever they wanted and not having to worry about being interrupted. 

At least until:

“I swear even my cock feels sore,” Kíli whined, slumping down on the bed next to Fíli. He curled his fingers around it, petting the soft length gently. “Poor little dude.”

Fíli, who was strategically lying on his stomach, aimed a weak swat at his brother’s arm. “Don’t blame me.”

“I’m not blaming anyone,” Kíli protested. “But I’m not the one who wanted to share a shower this morning.”

“I didn’t even touch your cock this morning. You sucked me off and wanked while you did it.”

“Oh right,” Kíli said. He licked his lips. “That’s- _Ouch_!” He whined when his cock gave an interested twitch at the memory. “Traitor,” he told it.

Fíli snorted.

“What if it’s broken?” Kíli asked, gently letting his cock flop against his lower belly.

“It’s not broken.”

“But what if-” The rest of that sentence was lost as Fíli smacked him with a pillow.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin/Dwalin  
> semi-public

“This is a terrible idea,” Thorin murmured, even as he raised his hips to allow Dwalin to tug his trousers and pants down further.

“Dís, Víli and the kids are all busy splashing around on the beach,” Dwalin said as he wrapped his hand around Thorin’s cock.  “And Dís knows to keep them there.”

“You _told_ her?” 

Dwalin snorted. “Not in so many words.”

Thorin smacked his leg against Dwalin’s side. “Bastard.”

“I’d prefer to not spend another day sitting in cold water because I get an erection if you as much as fucking breathe.” Dwalin shook his head and tugged Thorin’s trousers a little further down so he could cup his balls. “And I’m also tired of washing sand out of my arse crack. When you asked me to come with you you might have warned me that you’d be running around half naked all hours of the day.”

“Whereas you _clearly_ dressed to cover up,” Thorin said, eyes sweeping down Dwalin’s body covered only with a thin T-shirt and cargo shorts.

“Seeing as I’ve a shirt I’ll agree with you,” Dwalin said. 

Thorin curled his hand around Dwalin’s wrist, stroking his thumb along the knobbly bone. “It’s summer, we’re by the ocean, and are you going to move your hand this century?”

“Move it how?” Dwalin asked, a slow grin spreading over his face.

Thorin bumped him with his leg again. “You’re not the only one who has found the last days… trying.”

“Yeah I could tell what with you being hard already before I got your pants off.”


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin/Tauriel  
> come play

“Let me get that for you.”  
  
Tauriel hummed and spread her legs a little wider, feeling some of Dwalin's come drip out of her.

“There are wash cloths,” she pointed out, arching up at the first slow lap of of his tongue. She ran her hands over Dwalin’s head and down his shoulders, then back up to his jaw. “I hear you can use them to clean up, combined with something called water.”

Dwalin lifted his head grinned at her, his lips wet and gleaming. “Not as much fun.”


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin/Bilbo/Ori (fem!Bilbo)  
> strap-on

The dildo was smaller than Thorin’s cock, but the glass was a lot more unyielding than flesh and blood and Ori was happy that Bilbo was careful as she pushed into him. 

The slide was easy enough as things were very slippery indeed since Thorin had come inside of him, but it always took a little extra adjustment when it was the glass one.

“Say when,” Bilbo said, sounding a little out of breath, and Ori rocked back against her, trying to find the right-

“That’s the one,” Thorin said when Ori gave a full-body shudder. 

“Thank you,” Bilbo said primly, turning her head to look at him where he was leaning against the headboard. “But you weren’t the one I asked.”

“Shame you can’t feel him clench around you when he does that,” Thorin said, his voice low and amused, and when Ori turned his head he saw that Thorin was idly stroking his cock, which was half-hard again.

“Ori?” Bilbo asked, gently petting his sides and back, and when she brushed a hand through his hair he arched back into the touch.

“Please,” Ori said and tried to find enough leverage to raise his arse a bit, licking his lips when the pink head of Thorin’s cock peeked out of the foreskin.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bofur/Fíli

Bofur’s mouth fell open when he came, eyes falling shut, but Fíli watched him, revelling in every little twitch of pleasure flitting over Bofur’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol, this is the shortest ever I think


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin/Nori rule 63

Dwalin knew that it was bordering on obsession on her part, but she also felt that she couldn’t be blamed for it. Watching Nori do anything to her hair was just… captivating. 

Clever fingers working so quick and efficient to create the most intricate of braids, delicate enough that Dwalin’s fingers felt even larger and clumsier than normal.

“What would you do if I decided to cut my hair?” Nori turned to grin at Dwalin over her shoulder, one eyebrow raised. The question was asked teasingly enough that Dwalin supposed Nori wasn’t seriously considering it, but since Nori had asked Dwalin felt as if _she_ had to seriously consider it.

If Nori cut her hair… maybe as short as Ori had hers, or even shorter, that would mean-

Dwalin licked her lips. That would mean that the back of Nori’s neck would always be visible, all of her neck would be. And the round shells of her ears. And Dwalin would still be able to help her wash it, feeling the short silky strands slide between her fingers.

The sound of Nori snapping her fingers brought Dwalin back into the present and she blinked at her lover.

“Judging by the look on your face you’re very easy to please,” Nori said, one corner of her mouth quirked up into a small smirk. “What if I shave it all off?

“Then I’d get to find out if you’ve got freckles there too,” Dwalin said, and Nori’s smirk softened.


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo/Thorin

Bilbo did not know how to swim. That did not stop him from attempting it, or as Thorin would say, attempting to worry him into an early grave. 

“I’m never going to learn if you’ll get in a snit as soon as I’m in water deeper than my waist,” Bilbo told Thorin and splashed water at his frowning face. The scowl sadly would not be washed away.

“There’s no need for you to learn,” Thorin said, trying not so subtly to herd Bilbo back into the more shallow water.

“You never know when I need to stuff myself down a barrel again.”

Thorin’s scowl was beginning to approach epic proportions. 

Bilbo gave him a sweet smile before letting himself fall backwards into the lake, trying his best to splash Thorin again.

It felt as if he’d barely had time to go completely beneath the surface before a large hand wrapped around his arm and fished him back up.

“You’re quite ridiculous,” Bilbo said, blinking water out of his eyes as Thorin carried him to the shore.

“I’m not the one who is ridiculous,” Thorin muttered. “You’ve told me yourself that Hobbits are not meant for swimming.”

“We’re not meant for adventures either,” Bilbo said, reaching down to pat Thorin’s arse. (If he was going to be carried over Thorin’s shoulder like a sack of flour he would take advantage of the benefits.) “But here I am.”

Thorin continued to mutter beneath his breath as he gently put Bilbo down on the sheet they’d spread out over the rough sand of the shore.

“I just need to figure out how the floating thing is supposed to work,” Bilbo mused as he rolled onto his front, brushing wet curls out of his eyes. “Perhaps it’s Hobbits and not Dwarfs that are made of stone.”

“You’re very soft for stone,” Thorin said, and Bilbo huffed out a laugh.

“And you’re very hair for one, or is that moss?”

With a sigh Thorin sat down on the sheet as well. “You are definitely the ridiculous one.”

“Agree to disagree,” Bilbo said and rolled over until his side was flush against Thorin. “So, if I’m not going to learn how to swim today, whatever shall we do to fill our time?”

-

Bilbo was fighting two battled and losing both. The first one with his voice, as he tried to be quiet and it persisted in letting out moan after moan (it was lucky they’d picked a remote corner of the lake). And the second with his eyelids. They kept wanting to fall shut instead of behaving and letting him watch as much as possible of Thorin sucking on his cock as if he was a particularly tasty treat.

Thorin hadn’t dunked himself in the water so his hair was just slightly damp and fell forward over his shoulders in two dark waves.

Bilbo’s hand shook slightly as he trailed his fingers over the hollow of Thorin’s cheek, over the corner of his stretched pink lips, and down his throat.

“Thorin.” Dark lashes lifted to reveal cloudy blue eyes and Bilbo sucked in a shuddering breath.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pre-Ori/Fíli/Kíli  
> drunkenness, streaking

“Fíli! Fíli no one wants to see that!”

Ori looked up at the shout, his eyes going wide when he saw a more than half-naked blond run towards him. He had time to see smiling blue eyes, and then the blond was ducking behind his chair.

“Save me from my brother.” 

“Um,” Ori said.

“Excuse him,” a dark-haired man said. “And me,” he added when he all but sat down into Ori’s lap to be able to reach around the chair and snag the arm of the blond.

“You’re too drunk to get naked in public, Fíli.”

“Um,” Ori said again, as he supposed that the only way anyone got naked in public was due to large amounts of alcohol. And this was a party after all. Which explained the huge amount of alcohol. And how he was now bracketed by two very hot guys, even though that had never happened before.

“You smell good,” the blond, Fíli, informed him, and Ori blushed.

“You’re drunk.”

“My nose isn’t drunk.”

“I’m not drunk and I agree,” the dark-haired one said as he hauled Fíli away. “About you smelling good, not about his nose.”

“Where did my pants go?” Fíli asked, and Ori’s gaze slid down and suddenly his blood was very confused if it wanted to continue to gather in his face or a place a lot further south.


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin/Dís  
> (again, that means sibling incest)  
> oral

Dís’ entire body arched upwards, her fingers tightening around Thorin’s, needing to hold on to something as she shuddered through her orgasm. 

It felt like it never would end, but finally the flicks of Thorin’s tongue over her clit started to feeling like too much instead of not enough, and Dís tapped Thorin on the back with her foot. 

“Oh- okay, p-pause.”

Thorin pulled back to rest his head against the inside of her thigh, gently brushing a bristly cheek over the sensitive skin there and Dís twitched as something like an aftershock flashed through her.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli/Kíli

No one knew that they were brothers.

Sure, they’d checked in under the same name, but a pair of golden rings (bought from a pawn shop) had taken care of that. 

Fíli had put it on a little wistfully, and Kíli without really thinking about more than the immediate use of it. As far as he was concerned he and Fíli were already as tightly bound together as two people could be, two halves of a whole. A ceremony couldn’t add or remove anything. They’d always be together, no matter what.

They were going to move, to somewhere where no one knew them, but until then…

Fíli crawled into the bed on all fours, not stopping until he was braced over Kíli, close enough to touch, and kiss.

“What took you so long?” Kíli complained, curling his hand around Fíli’s arm, his shoulder, as if there was a need to hold on to him lest he disappear. 

“Made sure I was properly clean,” Fíli murmured between kisses. “Want you to fuck me.”

Kíli grinned. “If you’re going to twist my arm… I guess I can do it.”

“Moron,” Fíli said pecking Kíli’s nose.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo/Thorin  
> differences in biology

To say that Thorin had been surprised would be like saying that Hobbits were slightly fond of food and gossip. 

“That was lovely,” Bilbo said and smiled up at him, appearing to not at all be concerned that he’d just spilled enough seed to fill a regularly sized goblet. Thorin’s hand and stomach and thighs were all but soaking with it.

Thorin twitched when Bilbo’s slim fingers wrapped around his cock, distracted enough that he’d not seen him move.

“Thorin?” Bilbo stilled, his grip loosening. “Is everything all right? Do you want to stop?”

“No, I- no. Is…” Thorin bit his tongue before he could ask that was _normal_. “When you spend, is it always that much of it?”

“Well, yes?” Bilbo looked confused. 

Ah. 

Thorin was beginning to understand why there were so many Hobbits. But surely it couldn’t be practical?

Thorin imagined lying in bed, Bilbo braced over him, fucking into him, coming. Filling him up. 

His cock twitched in Bilbo’s grasp, and that was all the warning the Hobbit got before Thorin kissed the breath out of him.


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gimli/Legolas  
> coming on face

“At least it didn’t go into your eyes?”

Legolas stared up at him, disbelief written all over his face. And another thing that was all over his face was…

Gimli winced. “I’m sorry, love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (second shortest, I think, lol)


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bofur/Thorin  
> Riding

Bofur ran his hands down Thorin’s side, clutching at his hips, pretending that it was to steady Thorin and not because he felt like he _really_ needed to hold on to something.

Thorin rode him effortlessly, one hand on Bofur’s shoulder and the other one pumping his own cock. The muscles in his thighs bunched and stretched and Bofur let his hands slide a little further down, feeling the play of them beneath his palms.


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dís/Víli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah this is only going to make sense if you see the gif
> 
> http://alkjira.tumblr.com/post/124498171192/youre-still-wearing-your-knickers-and-youre

“You’re still wearing your knickers.”

“And you’re noticing this _now_?” Dís grabbed Víli’s hand. “Don’t stop.”

“We could-”

“We could not.”


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo/Kíli

“This is a sign of an overly large ego, you know.”

“Huh?”

Bilbo snorted. “Are you telling me that you’re not staring at your own cock right now?”

“I was staring at your arse just as much,” Kíli defended. “You’ve the most gorgeous arse ever.”

“And still it go only half of your attention?” Bilbo tutted, then he snickered, because the affronted little noise Kíli made was just too hilarious.


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin/Nori

Sex with Nori was more often than not like a full workout, and left Thorin feeling exhausted but satisfied. Afterwards Nori didn’t mind cuddling close, twining his limbs together with Thorin’s until it wasn’t possible to know where one of them ended and the other began, but yes, for the sex itself Nori wasn’t one to allow either of them to just lie back an relax.

From time to time though, it did happen.

Nori was all but purring as Thorin fucked him with slow, deep thrusts. The redhead had melted down into the bed, the only part of him still sticking up was his arse, and that was due to the pillows beneath his hips.

Thorin loved everything they did together, but the times he did actually have time to focus on making Nori feel as good as possible were his favourite.


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo/Beorn
> 
> __[Set in the[Bear In Mind (Bear In Heart)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3981547/chapters/8936680) verse]_   
>  _

Bilbo understood why Beorn lived on the outer outskirts of town, or… at least it had definitely to _do_ with Beorn’s tendency to wander about without even a stich of clothing on him.

One could not act like that and live with, or close to, other people. There would be… consequences.

As it were, the only consequence Bilbo was aware of was him getting many many inappropriate erections, courtesy of Beorn’s nakedness.

He also supposed that the amount of times they ended up sleeping together due to Beorn noticing that Bilbo was aroused, (Bilbo was beginning to associate Beorn breathing in deeply with sex, which could end up being troublesome) was also a consequence. The effects were clearly far reaching.


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin/Ori  
> Bofur
> 
> Voyeurism (non-consensual as there is no asking for consent before the peeking, so bloody well don't do this in real life)

Bofur hadn’t meant to spy. He’d just wondered what the slapping sound was all about. Friendly, concerned curiosity, that was all that had motivated him. The fact that he didn’t immediately stop watching when he figured it out on the other hand… that was due to another sort of motivation entirely.

It was Thorin, and he thought the other person was Ori, it was a little hard to  tell since Bofur didn’t have that good of an idea of how everyone’s backside looked like. At least not without clothes. 

Completely red-faced Bofur tore himself away from the keyhole, cock hard and pressing against the fly of his trousers.


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli/Dwalin  
> teasing

Dwalin moved his hips in short, shallow thrust, only keeping the head of his cock inside Fíli, teasing them both as it made Fíli’s hole clench and flutter.

“I swear to all the gods, Dwalin,” Fíli groaned when Dwalin pulled all the way out, looking as the pretty pink ring twitched around nothing.


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori/Everyone   
> (but more in particular, Dwalin, Thorin, Bofur)

Despite there being a Dragon at the end of the quest Ori hadn’t regretting joining Thorin’s company for even a minute. 

All right, fine, that was a lie. 

The time they’d spent in Rivendell had not been fun.  The food had been terrible, the music had almost put Ori to sleep, and even the beds had been strange. Too soft by half. Not to mention that Thorin had decided that they’d not be allowed to do anything else but sleep in said beds. Alone. ‘Too much of a distraction’ he’d said. ‘Can’t let our guard down’ he’d said.

Ori had tried to sneak his way into Dwalin’s room but had been firmly, if gently, stopped in the door.

Arguing that there was strength in numbers had not helped, and Ori had returned alone to his own rooms, crawling into an entirely too big and soft bed to sulk. And wank.

The first night away from Rivendell did manage to cheer him up considerably. Thorin, Dwalin and Bofur all spent the night with him, letting him do as he pleased with them. And they were all very pleasing.

“You wouldn’t care to be fucked?” Bofur asked hopefully, and with a noticeable strain to his voice, after Ori had spent some time on his knees, alternating between the three cocks offered to him.

“Let him have his fun,” Dwalin said, and for that Ori grinned up at him before swallowing him down to the root and entirely forgiving him from nudging him out of his room in Rivendell.


	48. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin/Dís  
> over the desk

The desk gave a warning creak.

“I’m not explaining this, if we break it,” Dís managed to pant out. “I had to explain, the- the chair.”

“Chair wasn’t my fault,” Dwalin rumbled. 

Dís made a protesting noise. Or tried to. It came out more like a moan. And it didn’t sound very protesting. More like she wanted Dwalin to keep fucking her until the damned desk was just a sad pile of rubble on the floor.

She could always buy a new desk anyway. The new chair was quite nice.


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kíli/Tauriel  
> masturbation

Kíli braced himself against the table, fingers clinging to the edge. Tauriel’s breasts were squished between them and he hoped he wasn’t hurting her but the idea of moving away seemed impossible.

“Are you close?” Tauriel breathed into his ear, her long soft hair tickling his shoulder and arm, her hand moving faster and faster over his cock.

Kíli didn’t have time to reply before he was coming.


	50. Chapter 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dís/Víli

“Don’t make any jokes about happy endings,” Dís warned as Víli’s hands lingered on her arse.

“Ma’am I’m a professional,” Víli sniffed. 

“That counts as a joke.”

“Are you saying that I’m not a professional.”

Dís snorted. “You’ve a degree in engineering. Not massage.”

“Still problem solving,” Víli said, teasing the tip of a finger between Dís’ legs. “Hey, does this mean I can make engineering jokes?”

“No.”


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kíli/Fíli/Ori

Kíli’s third orgasm felt like falling head first over the edge of a very steep cliff.

The first one had been slow and unhurried; Fíli sucking him off like they had all the time in the world, and Ori kissing him like he agreed. The second had been more urgent, had felt like he’d been chasing it. Bucking back and up as much as he could as Fíli fucked him and Ori rode him, the three of them moving against each other quicker and quicker as if there was a time limit to fucking.

But the third one, with only Fíli’s fingers inside of him and Ori plucking at his chest with his entirely too clever fingers, the third one…

Kíli gasped and his entire body arched for a moment before collapsing again, his cock spitting out string after string of come as Fíli fucked it out of him, Ori bending to kiss him until Kíli’s vision was decidedly spotty around the edges.


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin/Bofur

Dwalin almost fell backwards, arse first onto the floor, when Bofur started to sing.

“I’m sorry,” Bofur snickered as they both wobbled and finally collapsed forwards onto the bed; Dwalin squeezing most of Bofur’s breath out of of his lungs. 

The explanation of  how the song had just rooted itself in his brain and _needed_ to be let out, came out more like a wheeze than actual words. 

Dwalin seemed to understand the gist of it anyway because he just sighed and pressed a kiss against Bofur’s back, his moustache and beard tickling Bofur’s skin.

Unintentional as it was, the position they found themselves in revealed itself to be quite a lovely one, because as Dwalin tried to get his knees underneath himself without squishing Bofur further, Bofur all but melted into the bed anyway as Dwalin’s cock pressed right up against that _perfect_ spot.

“You okay?” Dwalin asked when Bofur made a noise that objectively probably sounded a bit like a dying seal.  
  
“Oh yes,” Bofur said dreamily, wriggling back as much as he could to- “Nnnrgh,” he added when Dwalin oh so very helpfully shifted shifted and nudged his prostate again.


	53. Chapter 53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori/Kíli

Common sense said that you shouldn’t sleep with people who you were paying, but did it really count if it was actually your mother who was paying them, and if they totally took the initiative? 

Oh, and Nori worked as a personal trainer, not as anything else, just to clear up the whole ‘Kíli’s _mother_ paying them’ bit. 

Nori had flirted right from the start, and Kíli didn’t want to say no just because someone with the same last name as him signed Nori’s pay checks. He liked Nori. He was pretty and smart and probably too clever for Kíli’s own good but he liked that about him too. Nori was always funny, and always pushed Kíli to do his best. Even on the days when he just wanted to lie by the pool and pretend that there were no such things as Uni, thesis work, and annoying professors. And training. Because that also seemed like work.

“ _Eurgh_!” Kíli yelled when he was splashed with incredibly cold water.

“You’re late,” Nori told him, looking smug rather than apologetic as he leaned down to poke Kíli in the chest, other hand holding a suspiciously empty plastic cup. The finger lingered, and acquired some friends, and Kíli decided to go for it, putting his own hand over Nori’s pressing it down against his chest.

“Want to help make me even later?” Kíli asked, eyebrow quirking in what was hopefully a sexy way.

“Are you doing this to try and get out of your training?” Nori grinned down at him. “Because it won’t work.”

Kíli was only a little disappointed. If it hadn’t work that meant that they wouldn’t shag, or at least not now. Later might be an option, because Nori still looked rather pleased, and hadn’t even tried to move his hand away. Instead he was pretty much petting Kíli’s chest.

”We’re going to the gym after we’re done here,” Nori continued, straddling Kíli’s lap and making the sun lounger wobble somewhat alarmingly before they found their balance. The cup clattered as it hit the sun deck.

“Not even a shower first?” Kíli asked, hands coming up to, erm, hold Nori steady. It was just _practical_ to hold on to his arse. And it was a win-win situation as Kíli very much liked Nori’s arse. He gave it a small squeeze, and Nori rocked against him, pressing against Kíli’s cock which was just beginning to realise what was going on. “That sound’s… messy.”

“Perhaps we should go to the gym first.”

“I like messy,” Kíli hurried to add. “Messy is fine. I’ll clean the gym myself. Don’t go?”

Nori’s lips quirked up. “You’re adorable.”

And Kíli would have protested this if Nori hadn’t leaned down to kiss him. 

If it got him kisses he could live with being adorable.


	54. Chapter 54

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo/Thorin  
> fantasies

Bilbo stopped in the doorway, distracted by the image Thorin presented as he leaned against the counter, looking unusually colourless in the pale morning light. The distraction didn’t lessen when Thorin turned his head and spotted Bilbo, giving him a warm smile.  
  
“Good morning.”  
  
“Good morning,” Bilbo echoed, reminding himself that Thorin was just his roommate, not his boyfriend and it was very rude to oogle him and even ruder to image going to his knees and tugging those endearingly dorky pyjama pants down and swallowing his cock and-

“-breakfast?”

“Huh?” Bilbo said eloquently. Please don’t let him have looked at Thorin’s crotch. Please.

Thankfully Thorin just looked amused. 

“I keep forgetting that you’re not a morning person. I asked if you wanted waffles for breakfast? I was planning on making some.”

Surely it was also rude to imagine dripping syrup on Thorin’s chest and- Bilbo’s cock twitched. Yup, rude.


	55. Chapter 55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dís/Dwalin  
> non-penetrative sex

“Look how wet you’re making me.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s my line,” Dís said, moving her hands to Dwalin’s arms and tugging at him, trying to get him closer, trying to get him to _fuck_ her. “I thought we were in a hurry, what with us not even stopping long enough for me to take my shirt off.”

“You look really good in that colour,” Dwalin tried, and Dís snorted.

“Are you trying to sweet talk me into letting you _not_ fuck me?”

“I’ll fuck you,” Dwalin said, leaning down for a kiss, pressing Dís deeper into the bed, pressing his cock more firmly between her legs but still not where she wanted him. “Don’t worry.”

“Oh, I’m really concerned,” Dís drawled, gently biting down on Dwalin’s bottom lip. “This is me, concerned.”


	56. Chapter 56

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gimli/Legolas

“Come and play with me instea-”

“Ow!”

Gimli flinched as Legolas’ cock smacked him right in the eye.

“I’m so sorry!” Legolas leaned down and cupped Gimli’s face, gently turning his head to the side. “I didn’t mean to-”

“Blind me with your cock?” Gimli snorted and blinked rapidly, trying to get rid of the tears welling up.

“I was just going to tap your cheek,” Legolas said, looking a mix between worried and sulky as he came into focus. “You’ve been playing that game for hours.”

“Ah,“ Gimli said, blinking again. “You’re naked.”

“Yes, I didn’t strike you hard enough for you hallucinate. My cock is not _that_ hard.”

“You need to use your words,” Gimli said even as he pulled Legolas down into his lap.


	57. Chapter 57

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kíli/Ghost
> 
> yup

Kíli had never believed in ghosts. The hotel was supposed to be haunted, but that was surely just to lure tourist to it. A way too seem special and stand out.

He would have changed his reservation to some another hotel if he’d only learnt of the haunted thing a little earlier. Not because he was scared, no, but because it was a silly gimmick and he didn’t want them to think that it was working.

That being said… after Kíli had checked in and as he stretched out on his bed to have a wank before falling asleep things got a little weird…

The room was getting colder, and at first he’d thought it was just because things were, erm, heating up, so the room just felt colder in comparison. Then, when he heard a low buzzing sound, he’d figured that it was the air-conditioning acting up.

The first touch of cool, invisible hands on his skin … That was surprising to say the least.

They disappeared immediately after his shout though, leaving Kíli confused and breathing hard, as much from the rush of adrenaline as from still being horny and worked up.

The next night he kept his shirt on, and his socks, figuring that if the room was going to get cold it was best to be prepared.

“Um, I don’t mind if you want to- help?” Kíli told the room, feeling exceptionally silly. Albeit a lot less silly five minutes later when he was getting a (fairly chilly) but otherwise excellent blowjob by a very friendly ghost.


	58. Chapter 58

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bofur/Bilbo  
> non-penetrative sex

“I can’t believe we both forget to get condoms,” Bofur groaned as he thrust against Bilbo.

“I can’t - oh, believe you’re still, whining-” Bilbo’s hand froze for a moment when Bofur reached down to cup his balls, giving them a friendly squeeze before going back to petting Bilbo’s thigh. Bilbo sucked in a shuddering breath before continuing to stroke his cock more or less in the same rhythm as Bofur was sliding against his skin.


	59. Chapter 59

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beorn + company  
> voyeurism

They were all too small for him to touch, at least beyond simple caresses. Not because they were frail, not even the little bunny looked like he’d break easily, but one couldn’t ignore how one of Beorn’s fingers was the same size as their cocks. But Beorn could watch what they did as they stayed beneath his roof. They did not mind that he watched.


	60. Chapter 60

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori/Kíli, Ori/several  
> sloppy seconds

“You okay?” Kíli asked after sinking his cock all the way into Ori.

“Yeah,” Ori breathed. “It’s fine.”

“I could-” Kíli pulled out again, patting Ori’s hip when he made a small displeased sound. “Like-” he slid the head of his cock through some of the seed leaking out of Ori’s hole, left there by Bofur and Fíli. “Like this,” he continued, pressing into Ori again. “It’s slicker. I don’t want to hurt you.”

He did it again; pulling out, smearing the head of his cock through the come before slowly filling Ori up again, and Ori shivered and dropped his head, bracing himself against the bed when his knees thought about taking a time-out.


	61. Chapter 61

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kíli/Bilbo

Kíli loved his new underwear.

And he loved the glazed look in Bilbo’s eyes when he wore nothing but his new pants. It made Kíli want to go shopping for even fancier stuff. Silkier, frillier, maybe with tiny bows?

Kíli tugged at the hem and wiggled his arse at Bilbo. Bilbo huffed out a laugh.

“Is that the mating ritual for your people?”

Kíli laughed and nodded. “Please take me to your leader. But first…” he walked across the room and straddled Bilbo where he was lying on the bed. “I think we need to establish friendly relations.”

“Is that so?” Bilbo asked, his hands coming up to stroke over Kíli’s arse.

“You fucking me should do it,” Kíli suggested. “If you do a good job.”

Bilbo snorted. “I’ll do my best.”


	62. Chapter 62

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli/Kíli

Fíli cupped Kíli’s cheek, his fingers sliding into dark locks. He tried his best not to clutch, not to tug, but he needed to hold on to something. 

He slid his hand down to hold Kíi’s shoulder instead, holding on tightly.

In turn Kíli’s fingers tightened on his thigh, but not around his cock. They where however already curled around him tightly. Pumping him with something that was close to the same rhythm that Kíli’s hips had as they rocked together.


	63. Chapter 63

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori  
> solo

Ori didn’t know if it was normal to… well, get so wet? It hadn’t always been like that, but the older he got the more his cock seemed to think that drooling was the thing to do. 

He knew he wasn’t about to ask his brothers about it. He still felt like he’d need therapy for the time Dori had explained how sex worked. (He was also fairly sure that Dori felt the same.) 

But he was getting tired of only being able to masturbate in the bathroom (it was that or using an entire box of tissues to clean up). And his room mates had to wonder what he was doing in there.


	64. Chapter 64

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kíli/Tauriel

Kíli had just wanted to surprise Tauriel at work; showing up when she was leaving for the day, maybe bring her out for dinner, or just to walk her home.

But he had ended up being the surprised one as she’d tugged him into the otherwise empty building, locking the door behind them and steering him to the back room.

Kíli rather liked surprises.

“Quiet in the library,” he grinned, before going back to flicking his tongue over Tauriel’s clit.


	65. Chapter 65

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli/Dwalin (fem!Fíli)

You weren’t supposed to fuck clients. Especially not if they  were bloody royalty. And ten years younger than you. 

None of these thing explained why Dwalin wasn’t guarding princess Fíli’s body as much as… well, fucking it. Fucking her. 

“Never leaving the room again,” Fíli groaned her fingers curling into the sheets. “Harder, Dwalin. Fuck me.”

Well, if they weren’t ever leaving the room at least being her bodyguard would be a lot easier from now on.


	66. Chapter 66

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gimli/Legolas

Gimli’s hands felt very big on his hips, as if they could wrap around his waist and meet in the middle. The rug was already beginning to burn his knees and elbows a little. He didn’t care. The couch he was clutching was cool, and he could smell its faint scent of leather.

“So good,” Gimli murmured,  hands stroking and petting and raising goosebumps wherever they touched. When one hand slid down to curl around his cock Legolas gasped and pressed his head against the couch.

“Gimli…”

“Beautiful,” was Gimli’s reply. “Love. Legolas.”


	67. Chapter 67

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin/Nori, rimming

Dwalin hadn’t even had time to take his jeans off. He’d suspect Nori of having magic powers, teleportation perhaps, or time control. Something to explain how he’d gone from kicking off his boots in the hallway to lying on the bed, a naked Nori crawling on top of him. For the life of him Dwalin couldn’t remember exactly what had happened between those two points.

His shirt was gone. Where? No one knew. Or maybe Nori did. But Dwalin wasn’t about to ask him. 

Not only was his own mouth a little busy, but he also didn’t want to interrupt the lovely stream of moans, praise and filth tripping from Nori’s tongue, courtesy of _Dwalin_ ’s tongue up his arse.


	68. Chapter 68

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin/Bilbo

Thorin held his cock steady, unable to resist rubbing it up and down between Bilbo’s arse cheeks, smearing lube and pre-come on his skin.

When Bilbo made a small impatient noise he pressed the head against Bilbo’s opening, smiling when Bilbo’s hips rocked back.

“I swear I can hear you being smug,” Bilbo groaned. 

“I’m not ‘smug’,” Thorin protested, his hands moving to hold Bilbo’s hips. Thorin rolled his hips, distracting them both until he was all the way inside. Leaning forward he kissed Bilbo’s back. “Your arse have dimples. It’s very cute.”

“I’m not cute.”

Thorin snorted and Bilbo turned his head to glare at him. Just when he opened his mouth to speak Thorin moved, and the words came out as a gasp.

“Unfair,” Bilbo groaned, hands clenching in the sheets as Thorin fucked him with deep, slow thrusts.


	69. Chapter 69

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin/Frerin  
> fingering

He didn’t bother to pump his fingers in and out, instead curling and uncurling them, pressing rhythmically against Thorin’s prostate as he worried at Thorin’s right nipple with his tongue and teeth.

“Going to come without me touching you?”

“You _are_ touching me,” Thorin groaned.

Frerin grinned. “You know what I mean. I’ll lick it up if you do.”

Thorin’s hole clenched around his fingers and Frerin’s grin widened.


	70. Chapter 70

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori/Dwalin

Ori’s erection bobbed in the air as he sank down on Dwalin’s cock, inch by solid inch sliding into him. 

His hands clenched into fists as the head of Dwalin’s cock bumped up against his prostate.

“All right?” Dwalin’s hands loosened around his wrists and Ori made a small noise of protest, watching a glossy bead of pre-come drip from his cock and down on the rug.

“Bit too all right,” he said, only needing to clear his throat twice before being able to speak. Taking a deep breath he made himself sit down in Dwalin’s lap, twitching as Dwalin’s hips rocked up and the small movement managed to make the cock inside of him get acquainted with his prostate once more.

The tingling pressure went away when he shifted and Ori sucked in a couple of deep breaths.

“I’m just- going to sit here. Just- for a little while.”

Dwalin chuckled, choking on it when Ori clenched down around him.


	71. Chapter 71

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin/Bilbo
> 
> another one that I would def rec seeing the photo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://alkjira.tumblr.com/post/123881742675/im-on-the-bloody-undergound-you-dont-like

_‘I’m on the bloody undergound!’_

> _‘You don’t like the photo?’_

_‘Underground! Public indecency! Prison!’_

> _‘But you’re not the one who is naked’_

_‘Not the point!’_

> _‘Are you hard?’_

_‘Thorin I swear to all the gods’_

> _‘I’m hard’_

_‘I could see that!’_

> _‘Home soon?’_

_‘Yes and I’m going to shag you through the mattress’_


	72. Chapter 72

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> f!Bilbo/Kíli/Fíli  
> double penetration

Bilbo was trying to remember how to breathe since that particular skill had been squeezed out of her as Fíli’s cock had slid inside her, settling in next to Kíli’s, the both of them thick, hard and toe-curling _good_.

And that’s when Kíli started to giggle.

Fíli cursed and twitched, making Bilbo echo both the sentiment and the movement. 

“Stop that,” Fíli gritted out. “I’m going to- you’re _vibrating_.”

“It’s just-” Kíli gasped for breath, petting Bilbo’s hip and sliding his hand up to caress Fíli’s as well. “Always- always room for one more in a Hobbit hole?”

Bilbo met Fíli’s eyes as Kíli continued to giggle beneath the both of them.

“He’s not actually my brother,” Fíli promised as solemnly as he could manage in a situation like this. “I think mum found him beneath a bush or something.”


	73. Chapter 73

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori/Bifur

Bifur’s cock was still just half-hard and Nori could only see a bit of the pink head peeking out from the folds of skin. He licked his lips.

He was still learning sign language, but he’d always been good at talking with his body. Licking his lips again he met Bifur’s eyes and raised an eyebrow.

Bifur grinned at him and nodded and Nori grinned back, leaning forward, his mouth watering.


	74. Chapter 74

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin/Tauriel

Tauriel squirmed and moved her hips in small circles, trying to get more friction. It felt like she had to be making a large wet spot on the bed. 

Dwalin laughed, his breath hot against the side of her neck.

“I told you.”

She nudged him with her elbow, not too hard, just… she didn’t really have the words to tell him to shut up.

“No one can come just from having their nipples played with.”

“Don’t stop,” Tauriel managed, arching her back and leaning her head against Dwalin’s, trying to match her breathing to his.


	75. Chapter 75

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bard/Lindir

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _[inspired by[Talk to Me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3379052) by [diemarysues](http://tmblr.co/mfrI6ZweOdfrRG68wZG3cQg)]_

It was kinda risky but not really. It was late enough that just the security guards would be around and Bard had made sure to have a talk with Dwalin (an embarrassing talk) and he’d promised that no one would be around until after ten. 

His smirk had promised that he’d be teasing Bard about this for months, if not years, to come, but it would be worth it. 

Bard couldn’t really believe that Lindir had agreed. He’d suggested it more or less as a joke, not really thinking that his lovely, proper husband would say yes to Bard’s fantasy of one of them getting bent over his desk at work. But here they were.

“Please sit in the chair?” Lindir smiled at him and nodded towards Bard’s desk. “I’d like to know what you looked like when you were on the phone with me.”

“I did wear clothes,” Bard said, even as he was moving across the room. “So you’d need imagine me with clothes _on_.”

“I think I’d like to keep you like this.” Lindir’s voice was warm, and so were his eyes, and Bard’s mouth twitched up at the corners.

“My co-workers won’t like it if I stop wearing clothes.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean-” They were both naked in Bard’s office, about to shag on his desk, but now Lindir blushed, and what a pretty blush it was. Bard was so distracted by tracking the pink as it spread out over Lindir’s cheeks, down his neck, his chest, that he almost missed what Lindir said next.  “Just, for me?”

“Only for you,” Bard promised as he sat down in his chair. His cock was already half-hard, and wouldn’t work be quite… interesting from now on. Every time he sat down he’d remember this. Or… perhaps something that had not happened yet?

Lindir’s eyes swept over him as he came closer, putting the small bottle of lube on the desk. It looked very much out of place standing next to his hole punch and Bard’s lips quirked again.

“Would you touch yourself for me?” Lindir asked, leaning against the desk, jumping slightly as the wood was colder than expected against his bare skin.

“Only for you,” Bard said again as he curled his hand around his cock.


	76. Chapter 76

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kíli/Ori  
> slow

Kíli slid right inside and bent to kiss Ori’s neck. 

“You feel wonderful,” he sighed. 

“Move,” Ori demanded and Kíli made a small confused noise. “I mean it,” Ori threatened. “You spent so long preparing me I’m about to come at any moment and you need to fuck me. We can cuddle later.”

“Cuddling is important,” Kíli agreed, pressing another quick kiss against Ori’s sweat-damp skin before he started to rock his hips back and forth. “I love cuddling.”


	77. Chapter 77

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kíli/Bofur  
> deep throating

It had taken some experimentation but Kíli had finally figured out how to deep throat Bofur’s cock. It was all about the angle, well, that and not choking. But it had to have quite a bit to do with the angle as he hadn’t been able to do it before.

“Bloody hell,” Bofur said shakily. “I can _see_ myself in your throat.”

Kíli hummed, and when that made Bofur curse again he’d would have smiled if he could.

Breathing was becoming a bit of an issue so Kíli tapped Bofur on the thigh and Bofur pulled back, breath hitching as Kíli flicked his tongue over the head of his cock.

“I’m going to fall over,” Bofur said, stroking Kíli’s cheek with not entirely steady fingers, moving to  just barely caress his throat. “And break my arse, and won’t that be embarrassing to explain.”

Kíli’s brow furrowed for a moment. “What if we move to the living room? You can sit on the couch and I’ll lie down on that table instead?”

The gulp Bofur made when he swallowed was loud and clear in the otherwise silent room.

“Aye, we could do that.”


	78. Chapter 78

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin/Ori/Thorin

“I get nervous when you look at me like that,” Ori protested, feeling like he was the last chocolate chip cookie in a room with both Dwalin and Bilbo _and_ Bombur. Dwalin might be the only one of those three with him at the moment, but he was arguably the most fond of cookies.

“You’re not the one standing around with his bits flapping in the wind,” Dwalin snorted and nodded at Thorin.

“I’m not flapping anything,” Thorin said drily. “And there’s no wind.”

“Details,” Dwalin said, waving his left hand dismissively whilst continuing to tug at his cock with his right, slowing his pace when Ori went back to sucking Thorin’s cock with leisurely bobs of his head.


	79. Chapter 79

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli/Bifur/Dwalin

The inside of Dwalin’s wrist brushed against Fíli’s neck and for a moment he wasn’t sure if the rapid _thunk thunk_ he could feel was his pulse or Dwalin’s.

Then Bifur’s cock almost poked him in the eye.

“Easy,” Dwalin said, patting Bifur on the stomach before curling his hand around Bifur’s cock to hold it steady. Since he was already helping Fíli hold his head up that meant that he had no hands left to sign with, but Dwalin and Bifur never really seemed to need language anyway. 

Sticking his tongue out to lick the head of Bifur’s cock earned him a surprised grunt and a hand gently stroking his chest, just like Dwalin’s was gently petting his hair.

The fact that both Dwalin and Bifur might look like they’d kick your arse as soon as look at you, but secretly were the most gentle lovers Fíli had ever had made him more than a little smug.

It was like it was a secret, just for him to know and enjoy.


	80. Chapter 80

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dís/Víli  
> Oral

It was the best day ever. Víli could not even imagine how it could be any better.

He- he’d married Dís. His princess. It was like a fairy tale. 

He’d not even needed to slay a dragon first, Dís had handled that part all on her own.

“You are amazing,” Víli breathed as he kissed his way down Dís belly. 

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Dís said as she stroked her hand through Víli’s hair. Her hand clenched into a fist at the first lap of Víli’s tongue, and Víli shivered and rocked his hips against the bed as a bright flash of pleasure streaked through him.

Sadly Dís pulled her hand away and even murmured something that sounded like an apology, and Víli would have told her that it was all right, except… his mouth was already a little busy with more important tasks.


	81. Chapter 81

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dori/Balin  
> sexting

Dori wasn’t sure if anyone had actually died from blushing before but he was fairly sure he was about to.

He tried to tell himself that doing something like this was quite normal, and no one would be able to know it was him should the photo go astray, and Balin had _asked_ him to do this so it would be very unfair if he decided to take offence now.

Even so, the minutes after Dori had pressed ‘Send’ were cruelly long ones.

_‘You look delicious, love. And would those be -my- pyjama pants?’_

_‘They might be’_ Dori replied _,_ trying to ignore the insistent throbbing in his still hard cock.He’d tucked himself away inside his- well, Balin’s pants again, but it was close to impossible to ignore the way his erection pulsed dully against his belly. Apparently his cock had no issues sending brazen images.  
  
Balin took a minute to reply, and Dori had time to wonder if his attempt at playful might have come off as rude instead. It was so difficult with texts sometimes.

_‘If I would suggest that you stroke yourself until you’d made a mess out of my pants, and then send me a new photo, what would you say?’_

Dori’s cheeks flared an even brighter red, but he tapped out a ‘ _yes_ ’ and reached for his cock.


	82. Chapter 82

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin/Dwalin/Bilbo

Thorin was fairly sure that he no longer possessed a spine. And there was a fair chance his brain was dribbling out of his ears. 

He was dimly aware that Bilbo’s come dribbled out of his arse with every other thrust Dwain made, and the realisation that Dwalin would soon be adding to it made something hot run down the spine that Thorin had supposed been fucked out of him.


	83. Chapter 83

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kíli/Ori  
> getting clean

“Want to see my periscope?” Kíli asked, grinning up at Ori as his boyfriend walked into the bathroom, the head of Kíli's hard cock breaking the surface of the water a moment later.

“That is not how you get clean,” Ori snorted. 

“Want to help me get clean?” Kíli asked hopefully. 

“I’m pretty sure you won’t get any cleaner if I join you,” Ori said, shaking his head.

“You could… scrub my back. And other bits.”

“And then one of us would have to scrub the bathroom as there’d be water everywhere.”

Kíli would not admit to pouting. But he was pouting.

“We’re not shagging in the tub,” Ori said as sternly as was possible when faced with a pouting, wet Kíli.

“Shower?” Kíli asked hopefully.

Five minutes later there were wet footprints on the bathroom floor, and the sound of the shower couldn’t quite drown out the moans and rhythmic slapping of skin on skin.


	84. Chapter 84

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin/Nori

Fucking in the car was not a good idea. They’d figured that one out fairly quickly at the start of their road trip. Fucking _on_ the car on the other hand…

“Bloody- _ouch_ ,” Nori hissed as his bare arse touched the hood of the car, the hot metal stinging as if he’d touched a stove.

“Don’t squirm around,” Dwalin said as he tried to nudge Nori back onto his spread out jacket.

“I wasn’t squirming,” Nori protested, tapping Dwalin on the shoulder with his heel. “Someone keeps slamming their hips into mine.”

“Just be still-”

“And think of England?” Nori smirked. “And here I thought you liked more enthusiasm in your bed partners.” He raised an eyebrow. “Car partners?”

Dwalin snorted and Nori grinned and wriggled his arse. “C’mon, daylight’s wasting, fuck me so we can continue.”

“Promise to think of England?” Dwalin asked as he started to thrust again.

“Mmmm,” Nori purred as he arched his back. “No promises.”


	85. Chapter 85

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin/f!Bilbo  
> strap-on

Thorin’s head was thrown back against the pillow, baring most of his throat to Bilbo. His cheeks were flushed and there was a ragged edge to his breathing.

Bilbo stroked her hands along Thorin’s thighs, noting that they were trembling slightly.

“Are you close?” she asked, tugging slightly at one of the dark curls at the base of Thorin’s cock before wrapping her hand around him, stroking him at the same pace her hips were thrusting.

She didn’t even get a proper reply before the cock in her hand jerked and spilled, just a deep groan that made her toes curl and something that (with a bit of good will) might have been her name.

Trying her best to keep an even pace Bilbo petted what she could reach of Thorin’s stomach and legs with her free hand, smearing some of the come through the dark hair just because she could.

Every thrust pushed the base of her strap-on against a very strategic spot; sending glittery sparks of wonderful all along Bilbo’s body, but as nice as that was she couldn’t just go mad with it and hump Thorin like a desperate rabbit.

At least not before she’d managed to ask if he’d be all right with it.


	86. Chapter 86

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori/Bofur

Ori tugged at his cock and squirmed back into Bofur’s thrusts.

“Could you- up and more to the left?”

Bofur snorted. “You sound as if I’m putting up a painting.”

But he changed the angle of his thrusts, figuring that he must have gotten it right when Ori made a sound that was a mix between a meeping hiccup and a moan.

“Better?” Bofur asked, gripping Ori’s hip to hold him steady when the pace of his arm sped up and he almost toppled over.

“Uh-huh,” Ori said, which… not the most eloquent thing Bofur had heard come out of his mouth but the sentiment behind it was at least plain as day.

Bofur was not a man with great ambition but he was still human and it was something of a power trip when Ori got like this. He always sounded as if he’d moved to the very happy land of ‘Fuck-me-harder’ and Bofur was his very benevolent overlord.

Bofur didn’t need to see the look in his eyes to know that there would be a decidedly glazed quality to it. That much was clear from the moaning. He liked that look though, but watching Ori’s arse bounce wasn’t a too shabby compensation.


	87. Chapter 87

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kíli/Bard

Kíli enjoyed a challenge, and there was something very rewarding about seeing Bard’s jaw drop when Kíli managed to swallow his fairly sizeable cock down to the root.


	88. Chapter 88

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Throin/Bilbo

Thorin knew that he shouldn’t be watching this. But… it was his favourite.

Despite the horrible name (who the hell thought that ‘Barrel Rider’ was a good name for a porn film?) it never failed to get him off.

Only… now that he knew that the man who, well, didn’t exactly ride barrels, was the same person as Bilbo Baggins who was his nephews kindergarten teacher he should stop watching it.

Any second now.


	89. Chapter 89

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bifur/Dori

Despite Bifur having come already he kept fucking into Dori, something which was greatly appreciated by the latter as he wasn’t quite yet finished.

That finish was however not far away, and while Dori wouldn’t like admit to it (it just wasn’t _polite_ ) the slick, lewd sounds made when Bifur’s cock slid through his own come was what ended pushing Dori the final bit over the edge.


	90. Chapter 90

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dís/Frerin/Thorin

The wallpaper was horrible and Dís had no idea what the hotel receptionist had thought when the three of them checked in, all with the same last name, but she didn’t much care about either of those things at the moment.

Frerin was slowly rocking into her and Thorin kept kissing her and it didn’t matter that the bed was hard and probably too small for them to sleep comfortably later, everything was still wonderful.


	91. Chapter 91

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli/Dwalin  
> riding

When Fíli swayed Dwalin reached up hold his hips.

“I said don’t hurt yourself,” Dwalin cautioned. “That includes falling and smacking your head open.”

“I’m feeling no pain,” Fíli said dreamily as he continued to sink down on Dwalin’s cock.


	92. Chapter 92

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori/Fíli  
> Rimming

Ori rocked his hip down against the bed as he speared his tongue inside Fíli’s arsehole. 

“You hard for me?” Fíli asked breathlessly. “From doing this?”

He tugged at his cock and Ori couldn’t see it, but the slick sounds couldn’t be anything else. He wasn’t sure if Fíli expected an answer or not, but he didn’t have time to give one before his boyfriend was talking again.

“And you’ll fuck me,” Fíli groaned, his free hand coming down to pet Ori’s head. “If I come now you’ll fuck me until I’m hard again, won’t you?”

Ori’s hips, cock, and entire body twitched.


	93. Chapter 93

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin/Thorin

Dwalin gripped Thorin’s hip when he tried to rock back against him.

“We’re not in a hurry.”

The reply he got was not a polite one and it made Dwalin grin. “Patience is a virtue.”

“So is not killing people,” Thorin rasped. “And if you will not move soon I won’t make any promises regarding my virtue or lack there of.”

The sound Thorin made when Dwalin shoved the rest of the way inside was not quite as rewarding as how his entire body just went boneless and pliant.


	94. Chapter 94

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> f!Ori/f!Bilbo  
> strap-on

“I’m making a mess of the floor,” Ori breathed and Bilbo made a confused sound and the quick jabs of her hips stopped.

“What?”

“I didn’t say _stop_ ,” Ori protested, feeling more of her own slick drip out of her cunt as Bilbo started to move again, the hard cock stretching Ori’s arse in a way that was so filthily good that she was sure she was going to go insane with it.


	95. Chapter 95

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin, solo

Dwalin had just meant for it to be a quick wash but he’d gotten a little… distracted. As thoughts of a sweet mouth, smiling eyes, and round arse flitted into his mind his cock twitched and grew in his hand, and his no-nonsense washing turned into something else entirely.


	96. Chapter 96

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dís/Tauriel

“You have a pair of your own,” Tauriel pointed out bemusedly after Dís had spent quite some time ‘ _washing_ ’ her breasts.

“I like yours better.” Dís smiled up at her lover. “And you’re so soft. Expect for…” she rubbed her fingers over Tauriel’s hard nipples. “These.”

Tauriel made a low sound in her throat when Dís leaned in to flick her tongue over one of them. “The soap-”

“I’ve had a lot worse in my mouth,” Dís snorted before doing it again.


	97. Chapter 97

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin/Dís

 

“Oh that is a good angle,” Dís moaned, stroking her hands down Thorin’s arms.

“I feel like I’m going to crush you,” Thorin rumbled.

Dís laughed. “Give me a kiss and stop worrying. I can handle more than you before I’m squished flat.”

Thorin snorted but did as she asked.


	98. Chapter 98

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori/Dwalin  
> piercing

Nori had not wanted to go away for two months, but the pay he’d been offered for the job was enough that he’d be able to get by without a job for the next _year_ , so after talking it over with Dwalin they’d both agreed that it would be worth it. And in hindsight…

 _‘Do you like it?_ ’ was all Dwalin had written.

Nori stared at the photo. And then stared some more, and then his fingers were flying over the phone.

_‘You did *not* have that when I left.’_

_‘You don’t like it?’_

“Fuck you,” Nori hissed into his phone after dialling Dwalin’s number. “I _love_ it and you’re a horrible tease since I’m not going to be home for another week.”

Dwalin’s grin was obnoxiously loud. “Tell your right hand I said hello.”

“Are there any more? No wait, don’t tell me,” Nori added and groaned. “I hate you.”

“You really don’t.”

“I don’t,” Nori admitted and let his head fall back on the pillow. “Can you fuck me with that thing on?”

“That’s the idea.”

“Fuck.”

“I just said-”

“You’re not funny,” Nori whined, hand creeping down to squeeze his cock. “Send more photos or I’m breaking up with you.”

Dwalin laughed.


	99. Chapter 99

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo/Everyone  
> Bilbo/Kíli

Kíli came to him last, and even though Bilbo told him that he felt perfectly all right, the young Dwarf eyed the Hobbit’s reddened and puffy hole with some worry.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said, gently rubbing his thumb around the slick, relaxed ring, immediately pulling it back when Bilbo shuddered. 

“No, no,” Bilbo promised, curling his fingers around Kíli’s wrist pulling his hand back, and despite that he didn’t manage to make his fingers meet around it, Kíli’s wrist still looked slim compared to his hand; all broad palm and thick fingers. 

That was actually one of Bilbo’s favourite things about all of his Dwarfs, they all looked to have almost dainty wrists, and he found it rather adorable.

Be that as it may, there was nothing dainty about the thumb coming back to prod at him and Bilbo groaned happily as it popped inside to rub at him from the inside.

“You sure it’s all right?” Kíli asked, stroking his other hand down Bilbo’s hip. “I- it probably won’t take long. And-”

“If you’re so worried, just rub one out,” Nori suggested lazily and Bilbo was about to protest when Kíli made a half-choked sound.

“Could I- you’d be very- it would be _messy_.“

It did not sound like he considered that to be a problem, quite on the contrary.

Bilbo, already feeling quite messy indeed, did feel like he’d rather be up for another fucking, but sometimes sacrifices had to be made. And besides, he could not help but notice that Dwalin’s cock was more than half-hard again, so perhaps he could have some more use of him before the night was over.

And he’d have to bathe afterwards regardless so a little more of a mess wasn’t that much of a sacrifice anyway.

“Could you try and get some inside me when you come?” Bilbo asked, thinking that a little extra slick wouldn’t hurt if he’d have Dwalin again, and Kíli nodded and started rubbing at himself, his eyes dark and heavy lidded.


	100. Chapter 100

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori/Fíli/Kíli

It took an almost inhuman amount of effort not to collapse into the bed, and Ori rather felt as if he deserved a medal of some sort when he’d managed to talk his knees and thighs out of turning into jelly.

“Okay?” Fíli asked, stroking his hand down Ori’s thigh, as he stopped with about half his cock inside Ori’s arse. Ori was just about to reply when Kíli hummed, affirmatively and enthusiastically, and around Ori’s _cock_ , and that led Ori to a second negotiation with his thighs about the importance of remaining as they were.

Kíli’s cock was a warm, hard weight against the side of Ori’s face, and Kíli didn’t really seem to mind that Ori was a little too busy trying not to melt to continue to suck him.

“Ori?”

“Nnngh,” Ori managed. “Yessss.”

Never before had yes seemed like such a long word, but it was worth it when Fíli started to move again.


	101. Chapter 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo/Bofur

Bilbo had a problem that he’d never imagined that he could have.

His smallclothes were literally falling apart and he had no spare ones. He had packed some (he might have forgotten a handkerchief but he’d not forget clean underwear) but all their packs had been lost when they’d tumbled down into the Goblin caves.

He’d not realised just how bad the situation had been before they’d all gotten undressed to wash in the river by the Carrock, but now a deep frown settled between Bilbo’s brows as he squirmed out of the ruined piece of clothing and held it up in front of him.

“Looks a bit like one of your doilies,” Bofur helpfully informed him. Bilbo, after shooting him an unamused look, was forced to admit that he wasn’t entirely wrong, not with the number of holes there were to be found in the pants. 

“Look on the upside,” Bofur said, putting his arm around Bilbo’s shoulder and tugging him closer. “Easy access.”

Bilbo pushed him into the river, feeling a lot better about the whole thing when Bofur emerged spluttering; but grinning, and dropped his ruined underwear to join him in the water.


	102. Chapter 102

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bofur/Dwalin

Bofur wasn’t sure if it was the curve of Dwalin’s cock, or the sheer thickness of it, or talent on Dwalin’s part (perhaps a combination of all three?) but as Dwalin slowly pushed inside of him it felt so damned good that Bofur almost came right there and then.

“Did you come?” Dwalin asked, and Bofur tried to explain that no, he hadn’t, but fair mistake to make considering the way he’d been moaning and shuddering, but what came out was just another moan. 

When Dwalin reached beneath him to wrap his hand around Bofur’s drooling cock the moans turned into groans and _that_ ’s when he came.


	103. Chapter 103

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bifur/f!Bombur  
> cousin incest

When Bifur had asked Bombur to show him what she liked he’d not quite expected to like it so much.

“You are the most exquisite thing,” he told her, not being able to hear his own words, but hoping that they didn’t sound too dull, too indifferent. 

The way Bombur smiled at him before she slowly pushed two fingers inside herself made him think that he’d not done too badly.


	104. Chapter 104

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo/Thorin/Dwalin  
> double penetration

“I’m going to come soon,” Bilbo moaned.

“ _He_ ’s going to come,” Dwalin gritted out. “I’m going to _die_.”

Thorin, maddening as always, laughed. _Laughed_ , as if Bilbo wasn’t slick and snug and clenching around the both of them. As if Dwalin couldn’t feel Thorin’s cock, hard and hot, pressed up against his own. As if he couldn’t hear every little breathy sigh and groan Bilbo made as they rocked up into him.


	105. Chapter 105

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli/Kíli/Tauriel  
> marking

As Kíli sat up up on the bed and yawned and stretched both Fíli and Tauriel looked at him with wide eyes. At his back, more precisely. At the long scratches all over his back to be even more precise. 

“Fucking hell,” Fíli said, turning to Tauriel who held up her hands.

“My nails are not longer than yours, don’t look at me.”

“I _am_ looking at you,” Fíli snorted. “He shagged you yesterday, with you on your back and I’m pretty sure that’s when that happened. You’ve got long arms.”

Tauriel looked guilty, and Kíli; who had turned to look at them, looked confused.

“What are you two on about?”

His lips were puffy and there was a bruise high enough on his neck that no sweater in the world would be able to hide it.

“ _That_ was you,” Tauriel said, narrowing her eyes at Fíli.

“Oookay,” Kíli said slowly. “I think someone, two someones, have woken up on the wrong side side this morning.”

He got up from the bed, and Fíli’ and Tauriel’s eyes were immediately drawn to the bite mark on his arse. 

That one they’d both helped give him. 

Tauriel flushed when she recalled the way Kíli had jerked and shuddered as she’d grazed his skin with her teeth. He’d groaned into the kiss he’d been sharing with Fíli, and again, deeper, when she actually bit him. 

Then when he’d been fucking her the thrusts of his hips had faltered for a few seconds, as Fíli held his hips still; his fingers looking very tan on Kíli’s pale skin, and bit him, in the same place as she had. Tauriel could have sworn that she felt Kíli’s cock twitch inside her, and she definitely hadn’t imagined the glazed look in brown eyes.

“We’re terrible people,” Fíli muttered and pulled a pillow over his head.

Kíli just shook his head and walked to the kitchen to make some coffee, a small bounce in his step, humming beneath his breath.


	106. Chapter 106

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori/Dwalin

Dwalin was fascinated. And a little disturbed. And very hard.

“You’ve… shaved.”

“Aren’t you clever,” Nori snorted. “They do this in the South. I thought I’d try it. Wasn’t exactly easy, I’ll let you know. I’m glad I’m good with my knives.”

He looked over his shoulder and give Dwalin a crooked grin. “Come on then, don’t you want to see what it feels like?”

In something of a daze Dwalin walked to the bed where Nori was spread out knelt down on it, hands reflexively going to Nori’s arse.

The skin around Nori’s arsehole was a mix of smooth and bristly where he’d missed a spot. Dwalin had no idea how he’d managed without accidentally cutting his stones off, but then again Nori could do things with knives that would probably make even the Valar wonder what was going on.

“You’re slick,” Dwalin said, brushing his thumbs around Nori’s glistening and relaxed hole.

“Very clever you are,” Nori said fondly.


	107. Chapter 107

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Legolas/?  
> Legolas/Gimli
> 
> gloryhole

Legolas knew it was stupid, and risky, and that it would make his father have a heart attack if he ever found out, but he still kept going back to that club, kept walking into the small room with a round hole in the wall, and he kept having the best orgasms of his life getting fucked by a complete stranger.

Even though he didn’t know anything else about them other than their cocks and how they sounded while they fucked, Legolas had done this enough times to get a favourite.

On the nights where the cock offered up for him had thick, red curls at the base he knew he was going to walk home on wobbly legs and with a broad smile on his face.


	108. Chapter 108

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bifur/Bilbo  
> non-penetrative sex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> erm, have a look at the gif  
> http://alkjira.tumblr.com/post/122704181034/when-shed-told-him-that-he-couldnt-put-his-cock

When she’d told him that he couldn’t put his cock inside of her (Bilbo wasn’t sure she could have a babe with a Dwarf but it seemed silly to risk it things being like they were) she hadn’t expected him to suggest _this_.

Bilbo curled her fingers around Bifur’s thick wrist and held it tightly.

Each slide knocked the head of his cock against her bud and it took an increasing amount of willpower to not just tell him to push inside of her. She was soaking wet, so it would be so easy for him. 

Groaning Bilbo tightened her fingers even more.

“Evil,” she muttered petulantly, albeit also very shakily, and Bifur grinned and said something that sounded all together too cheerful, while continuing to push against her.


	109. Chapter 109

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin/Kíli  
> felching

When Dwalin pulled out of Kíli a thick strand of come stretched between the head of his cock and Kíli’s arsehole, just for a moment, then gravity won out and the seed dripped down to the grass.

The squeaky noise Kíli made when Dwalin knelt down and licked a stripe from Kíli’s stones to the top of his crack was loud enough that Dwalin wondered if someone might have heard it.

They’d found a quiet corner in the skinchangers garden, but though oversized the garden wasn’t that large.

“Quiet,” Dwalin admonished, petting Kíli’s hole with the pad of his thumb, coaxing more of his seed out.

Kíli groaned and bucked his hips back. “I’m not the one who sounded like a butchered pig when I spent.”

Dwalin huffed, he had _not_ sounded like a pig.


	110. Chapter 110

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli/Ori
> 
> trust

“Could we… not use a condom?” Ori asked.

“Are you- are you sure?” The question had startled Fíli into stopping but now he crawled onto the bed and into Ori’s arms.

Ori nodded. “I’m clean, you’re clean… and… we’re not sleeping with other people, at least I’m not sleeping with other people, but I guess we never-”

Fíli leaned forward and gently pressed his lips against Ori’s.

“-talked about it.” Ori blinked up at Fíli.

“The only one I want is you,” Fíli promised as he tossed the condom to the floor.


	111. Chapter 111

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kíli/OMCs  
> and some Fíli
> 
> have a link  
> http://alkjira.tumblr.com/post/122687243850/thatll-definitely-make-the-hair-on-your-chest

“That’ll definitely make the hair on your chest grow faster,” Fíli nodded approvingly and patted Kíli’s thigh. “Worked wonders on your beard.”

Kíli, still flushed and breathing hard, smiled up at  him and at the guard who was slowly palming his still hard cock.

“This is more fun than just getting the stuff in a jar though.”

He nodded at the line of guards waiting. “Okay, who’s next?”


	112. Chapter 112

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dís/Víli

Snickering Víli dove beneath the duvet, crawling his way to lie between Dís’ legs, which she willingly spread for him, even if he was being a huge dork at the moment. Then again, what else was new.

“It’s not funny,” she said, nudging him with her foot.

“It is funny,” Víli argued, pressing a quick kiss to the inside of her thigh.

“I just asked if you wanted breakfast.”

“And I said yes,” Víli replied, his breath hot against her cunt and Dís could see him nodding beneath the cover. 

He was still giggling slightly when he started to lick her with long broad strokes of his tongue and Dís smiled. 

There were many worse ways to spend a morning in bed.


	113. Chapter 113

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kíli/f!Elf

The Elves in Rivendell looked a little strange to Kíli, so much taller and thinner than he was used to people being. Not even the Men he’d met had looked like this. 

That’s not to say that he minded, they were pretty in their own way, it was just a little unusual. Regardless, they were friendly enough, so when a knock came on his door that evening and he opened it to find one of the ladies that had been playing for them during dinner smiling at him, he grinned up at her and asked her to please come in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah the smut is in the gif with this one lol


	114. Chapter 114

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin/Bilbo

Bilbo twitched as Thorin pressed two thick fingers inside of him and Thorin made a low noise down in his throat, stroking his other hand up Bilbo’s back.

“Too much?”  
  
Shaking his head Bilbo rocked his hips, grinding his cock against Thorin’s hard stomach before pushing back against Thorin’s fingers.

“ _More_.”

Three fingers made Bilbo shudder and brace his forehead against Thorin’s shoulder, glossy beads of pre-come dripping out of his cock and smearing into Thorin’s skin.


	115. Chapter 115

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori/Kíli
> 
> erm, handjob  
> that's what's happening here, lol

“95, 96, 97, 98, 99… 100!”

Ori made a noise between a snort and a giggle.

“Kíli I’m fairly sure this isn’t was the coach meant when he said I needed to do more reps if I wanted to get into the college track team.

“Eh, he’s not an expert,” Kíli grinned.


	116. Chapter 116

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin/Dwalin/Ori

Ori looked between Dwalin and Thorin and swallowed thickly, excitement warring with nervousness.

“You can say no at any time,” Thorin said, blue eyes serious as he brushed his thumb over Ori’s jaw, tilting his head up for a kiss.

That kiss had no sooner ended before Dwalin bent down for his turn, sucking on Ori’s tongue and sliding one back hand down over his back to settled on Ori’s arse, giving his cheek a friendly squeeze.

The clink of a belt made Ori’s eyes flutter open (when had he closed them?) and he saw Thorin undoing first Dwalin’s belt, then his own.

Ori’s cock twitched, still trapped in his own jeans, and he groaned and swayed forward into the kiss.


	117. Chapter 117

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo/everyone

It was Bilbo’s third cock that night and it slid inside of him as easy as breathing.

On the other hand, breathing was something of a problem for Bilbo, not helped in any way by the delightfully enthusiastic, whiskery kisses he was getting from Bofur as Fíli started up a gentle rhythm, every slide of his cock creating a slick, squishy sound.

When Bofur suddenly disappeared Bilbo sucked in a few lungfuls of much needed air, his head spinning a little, but his breath whooshed right out of him again when someone, Bofur it would turn out, swallowed down his cock to the root.


	118. Chapter 118

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bard/Nori

Bard wrapped his hand around the base of his cock to hold it steady as Nori bucked and bounced as he came.

“Fuck,” Nori said feelingly, as he jerked himself off, getting his come all over Bard’s chest not to mention a fair bit on the bed as well, but that would be a later problem. At the moment it didn’t feel like a problem at all, not when Nori grinned lazily at him before sinking all the way down on Bard’s cock again, grinding his hip down and smearing the wet head of his still hard cock against Bard’s stomach.

“Think you can fuck me hard again?” Nori asked and reached out to slide his hand over Bard’s chest, smearing the pale white come all over it.


	119. Chapter 119

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bifur/F!Kíli/F!Fíli

Fíli turned to look at Kíli when her sister whined low in her throat.

“Did you come again?”

“Hrnnngh,” Kíli said, which Fíli took to mean that yeah, she had.

“You’ve got to be soaking wet for him,” Fíli whispered, leaning a little more of her weight against Kíli’s side for a moment before bucking back to take more of Bifur’s fingers. “When he’s fucking me I want to get my mouth on you.”


	120. Chapter 120

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin/Bilbo

Bilbo curled his hand around himself, tugging at his cock in time with Thorin’s thrusts.

“Faster,” he demanded.

“We’re not in a hurry,” Thorin replied, not even having the decency to sound out of breath.

“ _Faster_ ,” Bilbo said again, clenching down as much as he could, and feeling a fair bit smug when Thorin twitched and stilled, only to start moving again,  now faster indeed.


	121. Chapter 121

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin/Fíli

Dwalin grinned when he found the spot that made Fíli throw his head back against the pillow and groan. The blond’s legs twitched and Dwalin kept his fingers there, rubbing over that spot again and again, rubbing his hard, leaking cock against Fíli’s hip as Fíli shuddered and cursed.


	122. Chapter 122

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin/Bofur

Thorin spread Bofur’s arse to get a better view as his cock disappeared inside of Bofur’s arse. It was an amazing view, but possibly a bad idea as Thorin suddenly felt a whole lot closer to coming, and he gritted his teeth and tried to think about something unpleasant. It was… hard.

Bofur was slick and snug around him, his hole clenching and shuddering as it adjusted to the girth of Thorin’s cock. And the noises he was making… Gasps and groans and fervent repetitions of Thorin’s name.

When all of him was inside Bofur and Thorin’s hips pressed against the round swell of his arse, Thorin took a moment to be grateful that the condom he was wearing dulled the sensations at least a little, and then he started to move.


	123. Chapter 123

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tauriel/Kíli

If Kíli could have, he’d smirked and made a comment about Tauriel having had a lot of practice riding and how grateful he was for it, in fact he’d never seen a better use of horses before. Not even as sandwich meat.

As it were, Kíli was a little too busy trying to  remember how to breathe.

He was half-convinced that he’d actually die when he came, but what a way to go.


	124. Chapter 124

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli/Ori  
> oral

The moments before and after Ori came were his favourites. The ones before because Ori was so damned pretty with his cheeks red and eyes glazed, all but trembling with the need to come; while at the same time trying so hard not to buck his hips and accidentally choke Fíli.

Knowing that Ori wanted him that much, that he’d managed to get Ori hot enough for him to shake with it, but also knowing that Ori cared for him enough to keep as still as he could manage, allowing Fíli to safely take him down as deep as he comfortable could, that made Fíli’s blood race that much quicker.

In the moments after Ori came everything got slick and wet and messy. 

Fíli liked it messy. Loved it. 

He loved working Ori through the last spurts with his hand, getting them both dripping with it, and then getting his mouth back on Ori’s cock and sucking and licking, until Ori was whining and squirming, too sensitive for Fíli to go on.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments makes me happy.


End file.
